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Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Getting Motivated...

I found this article on Shape.com its pretty interesting...lately i have been in a "get in shape" type of mood, not just my body, but my mind and soul...
as far as my body goes i think my problem is motivation...but i think i found something to motivate me to get to the gym after work instead of sitting on my butt watching "Living Single" re-runs...although rather small my motivation is to fit back into my white capri dress pants, i love these pants...i bought them my senior year in college just for the annual Black and White Senior Party...they r hot...fit my butt just right (well they did anyway)...so i pulled those pants out, they are still in the dry cleaners plastic bag, and i hung them on the outside of my closet door, so i HAVE to pass by them...ive been trying to eat better to...i noticed with me its not that i dont eat healthy its that my portions are WAY to big...i was talking to my best friend 'drea, i love her shape, although i know i wont ever have a shape like her, we have to different body types, but anyway i was talkin to my ace and she was telling me how she can make a can of tune last for 3 servings...i was shocked, i CLOWNED her, calling her all kinds of cheap...LOL...but u know what i went to the grocery store and bought a can, and i had it last night for dinner along with some spinach...and i was full...now i dont know about making it last as long as she does but the point was that i CAN cut back, i dont HAVE to finish my food, i can throw it in the fridge and save it for later...
i did hit the gym after work yesterday and i plan on going today...i realize i need some music so im going to invest in either an i-pod shuffle or just a good old portable cd player, since id only be using it to work out anyway i really dont need anything fancy, i just think the i-pod shuffle is xtra cute...
but thats is all for now...enjoy the article i hope u get a few ideas out of it..if u dont..well...so what...LOL....
now back to my mango passionfruit herbal tea...

20 (surprising) ways to get healthier, calmer, stronger & happier
Start small by making these simple life changes.
By Tricia O'Brien

One piece of advice experts love to give to anyone contemplating a major life change is: "Take baby steps." They know that trying to improve your life in one go makes it difficult to succeed -- and any minor slip-up, be it a decadent dessert, a week of skipping the gym or a friend's forgotten birthday, can send you into a spiral of self-flagellation. By focusing instead on meeting one simple goal at a time, you might find that you've dropped a size, deepened your relationships, improved your 5k time -- or that you simply smile more often.

Be a health ambassador. Reach out to others -- your mother, aunts, sisters and friends -- who might not be proactive about getting necessary screening tests like mammograms, colonoscopies and Pap smears. Log on to the National Women's Health Information Center at 4woman.gov/screeningcharts for a list of tests and when to get them.

Organize a soup exchange. Get together with a group of friends and swap your favorite winter warmers. "Soup is simple to prepare and can easily metamorphose -- just serve it over brown rice on another day," says Lori Reamer, director of nutrition at Canyon Ranch in the Berkshires Health Resort in Lenox, Mass. What's more, soup's flavors often improve over a couple of days, so when you reheat the leftovers, your concoction may taste even more delicious.

Follow the two-bite principle, suggests Linda Spangle, M.A., R.N., author of Life is Hard, Food is Easy (LifeLine Press, 2003). "Have two bites of anything you want [that's unhealthful] and then pass on it." Those first nibbles have the most flavor and give you the most pleasure -- and you'll often find they're enough to satisfy a craving.

Breathe right. Take five minutes to energize yourself with this simple aromatherapeutic breathing technique from Maria and Kent Burden, co-authors of Yin Yang Fitness: The Whole Package of Health (Amberwood Press, 2003): Hold your favorite tea bag (dry, not brewed) near your nose (try autumnal flavors like cinnamon, apple spice, ginger or a peppermint blend), then inhale through your nose for a count of four, holding your breath for a count of eight, and finally exhaling for a count of four. Repeat 10 times. You'll feel instantly more revved.

Visualize success, advises John R. Martinez, M.P.T., vice president of physical therapy for Plus One Physical Therapy in New York City. Before, say, giving a presentation, take three minutes to visualize things turning out wonderfully. "A calm feeling will come over you that prepares you and sets your body in the right tone," Martinez explains.

Rearrange your desk -- it will save time and will establish a visual path for the workflow through your office, says Julie Morgenstern, a professional organizer and author of Making Work Work: New Strategies for Surviving and Thriving at the Office (Simon & Schuster, 2004). Create three areas: "In," "In Process" and "Out." The In area should be at the corner of your desk closest to the door and should contain only things that are brand-new. Once you've started work on something, it goes into the In Process area (the largest in the system), which should be within arm's reach. The farthest end of your desk is the Out area; this includes letters and packages to mail or interoffice. Taking just half an hour to create this simple system will help you stay calm and in control, Morgenstern says.

Schedule a fitness wake-up call. Make a pact with a friend to phone each other for your a.m. workouts, suggests Kim Onnen, program director and fitness instructor at Heartland Spa in Gilman, Ill. It may be just the extra push you need to get out of bed and into your workout clothes. Use the same idea to lure your workaholic friend out of the office and into the Spinning class you both love.

Admit when you don't know. We're constantly pressured to have answers to and opinions about everything, says Mike George, author of 1,001 Ways to Relax (Chronicle Books, 2003). Such pressure can make us painfully conscious of the gaps in our knowledge. Accept your blind spots, and realize that knowledge is not the most important thing -- wisdom is, and often this is best gained by asking questions, listening and engaging others.

Mix up a seasonal smoothie, suggests Cynthia Sass, R.D., a Tampa, Fla.-based spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association and co-author of Your Diet is Driving Me Crazy (Marlowe & Co., 2004). In a blender, pulse 1/2 cup of unsweetened canned pumpkin, 8 ounces of skim milk or soy milk, a few sprinkles of spices such as cinnamon and nutmeg or pumpkin pie spice mix, and 1-2 packets of an artificial sweetener (e.g., Splenda). This pumpkin smoothie packs beta carotene, fiber and calcium -- for about 150 calories and no fat if you use skim milk (about 4 grams of fat for soy milk).

Choose creative calcium sources. An 8-ounce serving of fortified soy milk, 16 ounces of fortified orange juice and one Luna bar give you close to the 1,000 milligrams of bone-building calcium recommended daily. The mineral also eases PMS symptoms and improves sleep, says Carol L. Otis, M.D., a Portland, Ore.-based sports- medicine doctor and co-author of The Athletic Woman's Survival Guide (Human Kinetics, 2000).

Declare an e-mail-free zone for an hour, Morgenstern suggests. "For many businesspeople, e-mail has become a terrible addiction that interrupts their thinking and their ability to concentrate," she says. "If you instead spend the first hour of your day doing your most critical task, you will feel a sense of accomplishment."

Know your breasts. When doing a breast self-exam, says Ellen Mahoney, M.D., a breast surgeon in Arcata, Calif., and a member of LLuminari, a network of health and wellness professionals, "I ask women to imagine what the lump would look like if the skin weren't in the way -- butter, gravel, Bubble Wrap? If the breasts feel the same all over, it's just the way they're made. The only area to be concerned about is the one [area or lump] that's different from the rest." But even if you feel something odd, don't panic. Watch it and if it doesn't go away after two menstrual cycles, see your doctor for a physical exam and ask about a mammogram or ultrasound. Don't let it go if your physician dismisses your concern, either; you're the world's best expert when it comes to your breasts, stresses Mahoney.

Select a stretch of the day. Write the stretch on a Post-it note that you place on your keyboard; then do the stretch for 20-30 seconds (no bouncing) every time you think of it (aim for two or three times a day), says physical therapist Martinez. Stretch these five areas to get you through your first workweek: wrists, neck, shoulders, calves, back.

Indulge in flower power. Besides adding a nice decorating touch, keeping a mixed bouquet in your office may help improve memory, learning and concentration, according to Alan Hirsch, M.D., the neurological director of the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago.

Create a "get to do" list. On every to-do list you create, alternate tasks to accomplish with ways to reward yourself, says Alice Domar, Ph.D., director of the Mind/Body Center for Women's Health at Boston IVF. So if No. 1 on your list is "laundry," No. 2 could be "call best friend"; if No. 3 is "post office," No. 4 might be "enjoy some chocolate, guilt-free."

Offer specific help. "With any crisis, people often don't know what to say," says breast-cancer surgeon Mahoney. If you have a friend who has health problems, has lost a loved one, or is going through a particularly rough time, try this approach: Say, "I'm sorry you're facing this," and rather than just asking if there's anything you can do to help, follow up with concrete assistance. Call and offer to take your friend's kids to the movies, for example, or bring dinner over one night.

B energized. Kathleen Fry, M.D., a gynecologist and homeopath in Scottsdale, Ariz., and a member of the American Holistic Medical Association, advises her patients taking birth-control pills to supplement with a B-vitamin-complex formula that includes B6. Oral contraceptives interfere with the absorption of B vitamins, which may make you feel sluggish, depressed or tired, she explains.

Say no at least half the time you're asked to do something you don't want to do (but feel like you should). "Saying no to someone else is saying yes to yourself," Domar says.

Follow the 10 percent per week rule. Working out at too intense a pace or for too long increases your chances of injury, but it also can wreak havoc on your digestive system, causing constipation, diarrhea or even vomiting, says Cynthia Yoshida, M.D., of Charlottesville, Va. To keep your gastrointestinal system (and your joints) happy and running smoothly, aim to increase your workout time and resistance by no more than 10 percent per week.

Stop a snack attack. Eliminate a taste trigger to a snack you can't stop nibbling by eating something that is the exact opposite, says Spangle. For instance, if you're craving something sweet, sip something tart, such as water with lemon in it, or nosh on a dill pickle. When chips or nuts are tempting, reach for an apple or a piece of cheese to counter the salty, crunchy taste trigger.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

My Sperm Donor...

I had a dream the other this past weekend...it was about my biological father...
bascially it wasnt much of a dream but the part that really stands out in my mind is that in my dream this man was looking for me, i mean searching to find me...i dont know how he got it but he got my email address and emailed me about wanting to meet me...and that how the dream ended wih me reading this email...an email, i know, why an email, i have no clue...

this dream made me realize that i hold an animosity towards my bio father that might not be fair...i mean the man might not even know that he made a baby with a woman i will call my bio mom, cause that is what she is...considering that i dont remember my bio mom, i was adopted at 5 months, and i dont have any pics of her or him either i cant fairly hold a grudge...and its not necessarily a grudge but over the years i have made up this story in my mind that my bio mom gave me up because she was a preganant teen...once again i have made this story up, it is what i have always imagined in order to appese myself...it lets me feel wanted...see if i had a teen mother who couldnt take care of me it gives me leaway (sp) to believe that if she wasnt a teen she would have kept me, that lets me believe that there was no way possbile that she didnt want me...that part is all about wanting to be wanted...or maybe its being scared that im not wanted...


and i was wanted because my parents saw me and held me and decided that they couldnt live without me in their life and they adopted me and i love them more than life for the decision they made...

but back to this resentment toward my bio father...see...when i was 13 or so my parents gave both me and my bro a letter from the adoption agency telling us a little about our bio parents...i dont know what his said, and he doesnt know what mine said...but they had all these small things about my bio mother, and we have a few things in common...but at the end of that very short letter it read..."we have no information about your bio father"...and that kinda hurt...

thing is i never made up a story in my mind about him...i always kinda felt that if he wanted me to know sumthin about him he would have something about him in that letter...once again that is unfair...and i know that and its funny how after 23 years i am just now acknowledging that that little line in that letter hurt me...like i wasnt important enough although everything that has happened to me in my life has contridicted the fact of not being wanted...i never made up a story i think because i could never stop asking myself why...but know im thinking, well what if he never knew about me?...

i wrote more about my adoption in my old online journal...i cut and paste it in here...just cause i can...notice i expound on my bio mom but not on my bio father...


i had this big ass frappiccino this morning so i thought i was going to be all extra wired and jumpy...cause thats how i usually get...but im pretty calm...i have been having some deep thoughts after talking to a friend of mine over email....

he asked me if i looked like my mom and i told him kinda but not really because i had been adopted as a baby...so while we have some things in common such as our walk, height and complexion we are not blood relatives...my older bro and i are not blood siblings either and my dad's blood is not running through me....its funny cause my bro and dad are both tall and muscular and me and my bro actually look a little alike..i go with the man-dog theory...u ever notice that after a while a person and thier pet will start to look alike...well i think thats what happened with us....

i explained that my mom had trouble getting pregnant and always miscarried and then when she finally did get pregnant the baby had an enlarged heart and although he lived a few months he never made it out of the hospital...
about 10 years after that my parents adopted my bro and i came that next year around x-mas...i was my parents x-mas present...thats what my mom calls me...

i never knew a time when i hadnt known that i was adopted..as babies and children my mom read this book to us about a married couple that adopted two children except she would substitute the names in the book for ours and theirs...for the longest i believed we were that family in the book..when i finally was able to read i found out that she had been replacing the names...

my friend was asking me if i ever thought about finding my bio mom and i told him no i hadnt...it was never important to me...my parents have loved me, supported for me and provided for me so well....i never think about being a adopted...and thats the way it should be...my bro is my bro and my parents are my parents....i know that without them i wouldnt be where i am now...and without my bio mom and her decision i never would have lived...im blessed...i am so blessed....

i told my friend that i have never been able to complete a poem about my bio mom..and i have tried....ive started a few, some judged her, some just wondered about her, some asked about her feelings for me...and a couple asked her why....but i noticed i never tried to write one thanking her....my friend started me to thinking about how she saved my life before i ever lived it...how she helped to put me in the situation that i am in now....she didnt raise me but she let me live...that is sooo powerful....

i love my parents, i had the perfect childhood and that is a blessing my parents worked hard to send me to spelman and my brother to morehouse...they said pick a college where ever u want to go, you will go...and they sacrificed to make it possible...my fam doesnt have money but they have strength and so much love...i will never know how much my parents sacrificed, i will never know their pain....but i do know their love....

my bio mom had to have at least that much love...and while i dont know her...i am so proud of her for making the decision to put me up for adoption....i want to say i love her but im not sure that is the right emotion...i could justify it by saying i love myself and she is a part of me but that is a roundabout way to go for it....i wonder if i have brothers or sisters...thats something i always wanted to know...

i know this sounds crazy but ive always dreamt of having a twin...i have this cyst on my lower back...had to have surgery on it and it still came back...one of my guy friends heard that a cyst like that in that location means that i once a a twin and that a part of them is still with me...attached...i know its far fetched..so i just say that the twin is my bio mom...she is still attached a part of me... and i cherish her...

Monday, March 21, 2005

Ride the Maverick!


Posted by Hello

When i grow up.........i wanna be like Maxine Shaw, Attorney at Law......
she was successful, had great friends, a great sense of humor, a stock broker for a man (LOL!, naw but forreal he was a stoke broker!), her suits were cute in an early 90's sort of way, she loved her job....and she got to sleep with Terrence Howard and his fine ass....even though at the time he had a gumby....
but she was a good woman, she didnt let folks run over her, she spoke her mind, she was at peace with who she was as a woman (i got that from the episode when her and Regine tried to so-call date themselves)...she was a strong black woman who was proud...


clearly i have been watching too many damn reruns of living single....ive been watching a lot of a different world too...i actually thought about comparing me and my girl to whitley gilbert and kimberly reese.....love you 'drea....((((BIG HUG))))....


but i digress......(thats one is for you mr. demobeatz)


when i grow up (cause according to my mama i might be 23 but i aint grown yet)...which is fine....cause when i do grow up...i want to be even more proud and strong than i am now...i want to really live life to the fullest, have no regrets...and keep the people who support me witihn in my inner circle...i also want to be successful and love my career....

so.....VOTE FOR MAXINE SHAW...and...RIDE THE MAVERICK.....




lol...yall know this is a silly ass post dontchu....u probably think im crazy for taking time out of my day to find a pic of the cast of living single......welll......

I DONT GIVVA FUUUCCCKKKK!......


have a nice day......

and once again RIDE THE MAVERICK!!!!!

i will be....*wink*......yeah that was a nasty thought.....

To Marques....

!!!!!!YOU'S A SUCKA!!!!!!
!!!!!!YOU'S A SUCKA!!!!!!
!!!!!!YOU'S A SUCKA!!!!!!
!!!!!!YOU'S A SUCKA!!!!!!
!!!!!!YOU'S A SUCKA!!!!!!
!!!!!!YOU'S A SUCKA!!!!!
!!!!!!YOU'S A SUCKA!!!!!!!
!!!!!!YOU'S A SUCKA!!!!!!
!!!!!!YOU'S A SUCKA!!!!!!
LOVE YOU MARQUES.......LMAO......I TOLD YA I HAD ONE FOR YOU....
HOPE THIS MADE YOU LAUGH.....
SHAUNA'S BIRTHDAY 2005...NYC...YOU BETTER BE THERE...I WON'T TOLERATE YOU DITCHIN THE CREW THIS YEAR FOR SOME CHICK....
JULES DONT WORRY...I GOT ONE FOR YOU COMING UP....

why the hell aint my jimi izrael link not working?

someone holler at me and help me out.....

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

In his arms...

so i am putting myself out there...telling my business...but i cant help it....this feeling i am feeling feels too nice....or should i say bitter sweet?

i always wonder what i miss about a person...and ive found its the simple things, always the small stuff...the stuff i take for granted when i am around that person...

for example my best friend moved to NY and i miss our wednesday afternoon of getting out hair done together at our fav salon by our fav stylist and then going out for thai food...riding in our cars...sometimes together sometimes trailing behind each other, always in tandem...windows cracked, hair blowing, shades on...sometimes stopping by the baskin-robbins to get ice cream and sit ouside on a bench to eat....practicing to be the divas we know one day we will be...i miss doing those leisure days of hanging out with my sis....


so what am i missing right now about a certain man?...

im missing his kisses...very soft kisses, never rushed, very tender and full of invitation...at least thats how i interpret them....
but just as much, if not more than the kisses...i miss waking up on Sunday mornings with his arms around me...i miss waking up to him saying "good morning" and the special way he says it....as the sun sets through the window...or depending on the time, as it shines through the half closed blinds that cover my window...
but those arms...one usually draped over my head or behind his..the other rests quietly across my stomach...holding me tight...i usually intertwine my fingers with his...laced loosely...his fingers sometimes graze over my thigh but always ends up back around my middle...

my back pressing slightly against his chest...is how we wake up...and as i turn to him we peer into each others eyes, slightly smiling...sometimes he gently lifts a piece of hair out of my face or ill try and trace his lips with the tips of my fingers trying to make it all the way around before he can take my finger into his mouth...i miss playing tag with our eyes, telling stories, our silent conversations...and i miss the feel of him in my bed...

i miss the feeling of being together knowing that we have a whole day of nothing to fill up...u know, the simple things....

Feelin like a Sunday driver...

u know a Sunday driver...just chillin, takin in the scenery, no particular place to be and in no hurry to get to any specific destination...just enjoying the ride...
i am feeling so relaxed today...almost sensual really...

my drive in to work was so peaceful...ive noticed that when i first started working at the paper i would leave my house 20 min before i had to be at work and its a 25-30 min drive into work....i would speed all the way to work to be there at 7:30 a.m.....
but now, i actually get up early, and i added breakfast into my morning routine...i then leave 30 min instead of 20 min early...and i take it easy....i do the speed limit...and i listen to music..its like i am mentally preparing myself for work..
it is a beautiful strech of highway that i ride on, barely any cars...just lots of trees and small mountains and rivers....
i have become aware of the seasons...nature...this year i noticed fall, and winter and the makings of spring...i saw the leaves change colors and then fall off the trees...i saw deers, and rabbits...i saw snow frozen over tree branches...small things i never bothered to take notice of because i was always so busy running around...i saw the prettiest sunrise last week...and the fact that i actually remember it shows that my mind is starting to spread out beyond thoughts of myself...
i like this easy relaxed feeling, i enjoy my 30 min commute into work and my drive home, it gives me time to unwind...
its the little things about myself that i enjoy recognizing now...in little ways i am growing...because i am starting to open my eyes and see the big picture not just staring straight ahead...



i love waking up....not knowing where the day will take me....



BTW....today my daddy turned 60....HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY....I LOVE YOU....

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

A Song....

Dedicated to you......


"Every Time You Go Away"


Every time that I’m with you girl
I can’t believe you share my world
But it’s real

And every time that I hold you close to me
Forever’s all that I can see
How it feels

See I don’t give a damn what my homies say
Don’t matter anyway
See I never felt this way before
You leave a brother wantin’ more

[Chorus:]
I hate to see you go
Even though I know when you’re comin’ back
It’s hard to breathe without you girl
And baby that’s a fact
I know sometimes you have to leave
But I wish you could stay
Every time you go away

From the very first time that I touched you babe
Couldn’t find the words to say you set me free
And every time that I kiss your lips
Nothin’ ever tasted quite like this
Or got so deep

See I don’t give a damn what my homies say
Don’t matter anyway
See I never ever felt this way before
You always leave me wantin’ more

[Chorus]

You’re the sunshine of my day
You brighten up my night
You take a piece of me with you
Every time you say goodbye

[Chorus]

Monday, March 07, 2005

Updating Myself...

im chillin...

doing ALOT of thinking...

just putting all my ducks in a row (is that the saying, correct me if im wrong)...

had a great sunday...went to church, washed my cAr, hung out with my girl and her fam, talked to my lil mo'house bro that i adopted when he was a freshman and i was a junior, watched their eyes were watching God...

anyway...

im just waiting patiently for the answers to be visualized...no moves will be made before the right time shows itself...

taking it one day at a time...

Thursday, March 03, 2005

To be young, gifted and black...

and have to deal with pretencious ass white people....

im angry...and sad...and disappointed...and hurt...and i knew it was gonna happen sooner or later....

so i work at a newspaper...i am the ONLY black reporter...i am the ONLY black person that works at the newspaper....I am ONLY one of three black people who work in the COUNTY...

so i went to cover something for a co-reporter because there was some chaos going on in the office and she needed me to fill in for her...no problem, we fill in for each other all the time...

all i had to do was go and cover a performance of an african dance troop that came to one of the local elementary schools...i went, and i enjoyed it..they were very good...and i was suprised to find at least 4 dancers were white...that was intersting for me to see...white people in african garb dancing to african drums....but i digress...

i took my pics of the kids and the dnacers and the drummers...they turned out pretty nicely...i came back to the office..gave my camera to the woman who downloads and crops all the photos...

that was tuesday...so today the reporter i covered for gets a VERY sarcastic email from the woman who was responsbile for bringing the group her...a teacher at the school...the email said the woman was disappointed that no one from the paper showed up to cover the performance...so we show it to our mangaing editor and our pubisher and we all get a laugh out of it...

i said "i bet she thought i was with the dance troop"

and they laughed...i laughed too...but i was also serious....

my editor and publisher told my co-worker to write the lady back a email that was just as snotty as the one sent...so she writes back to the woman and CC'ed it to the principal lett her know that a reporter was there and did cover it and that the pics would be in the paper next week...u would think this little dilema would be over right?...

wrong...

i go to lunch...the popcorn shrimp at long john silvers it pretty damn good, i might add...when i get back from lunch the co-reporter is waiting with a reply email from the teacher...saying, again sarcasticly, well did the troop perform at another school because i did not see anyone from the reporter there and i think that this event which promotes diversity should be covered, that is why we have such a racist reputation now and things of this nature need to be covered (im putting this in my own words)....

now...a bunch of WHITE people watching a mojority black dance troop dance and sing for them...to me does not promote diversity...

so my co-reporter once again tells the lady that shauna (last name) from the newspaper covered the event and the pictures will be in the paper....

NOW they r beginning to see that...WOW..the lady sis think i was with the dance troop...

this womans problem (if i may say so) is that she is ASSUMING that because she did not see anyone white taking pics no one from the reporter showed up to the performenace...and it is HER attitude and assumptions that keeps this town wrapped in a racist shell of a reputation...

she brought this african dance troop to the school as a way to clear her own conscience and make herself believe that she is not racist...or that she embraces diversity...well if she can embrace it...why cant the paper..who have already proven they have by hiring me....

only she knows her true feelings...and maybe she doesnt...but from where i sit and from what i see..this woman is part of what is wrong with the world...sometimes its the little things...because a lot of little things create the big things...

i dont know...i have never experienced anything like this...its while it seems so small to some it is very big to me...i think it is disgusting...and i want to march over to that school and introduce myself to that woman and hand her my card...i just want to see her face when i tell her that little 4'11, 36-28-36, chocolate me, took those pics..and yall, she is teaching the children!...racist attittudes do not have to be verbal...

but im going to chill...well kinda...i plan on handing that woman her paper next week..and letting her know that i enjoyed the performance and was glad i could take the pictures...i am then going to give her my card...and im going to walk away...well, after snapping a pic of her jaw on the ground...

just looking her in the eyes and letting her know that i know her issue is satisfaction enough for me...

i guess this is what happenes when u r one of the first...

and its funny because i just did an interview for a local acess televsion program...a sorta documentary on black people who work in the town i work in and their experiences...and i said in that interview...which happened to be the same day i took those pictures..that i have had good experieinces working here and that people shouldnt assume the worst about the town...and i dont bite my words cause i have had a lovely experience here...i guess i just find it ironic...

im glad that is all that has happened here...if u google Carol Jenkins...well she wasnt as lucky with her experince here...it was the 60's...but that wasnt that long ago...

ill edit this when i get home...i just needed to clear my head...