Smokie Norful: Nothing Without You

there is this AMAZING song on this album called 'I understand'...i really think this song is speaking to me...listen to the song here

searching.....

im really goin hard on this job search right now, good thing copy editors are always in need, ive gotten a bite from a paper in VA, and i was excited until i began thinking.....if i get the job ill be going to another new town where i dont know anyone and i be like i am now ---> wishing i had my close girls with me....i mean for 4 years i was with my best friends almost every day and even during summer break we managed to visit each other....and now for the past year and some change it just been me in indiana by my darn self....and while i do enjoy the peacefulness and i have learned a lot about myself, i miss my girls....i mean yes we talk at least once a week but i havent physically seen any of them in over a year....

i was on the phone with my girl 'Drea, the one in NY, yesterday and we were content going through our glamour magazines together, kinda lame but it was fun, we started reminiscing about the places we used to go and hopefully we will get together soon, but i dont know since she is starting business school at the end of the month....

so i decided that im going to look for jobs in areas near them, yes it sounds kinda unconventional but considering that my best girlfriends are in new york, atlanta and north carolina, im not afraid that i wouldnt find a job....im mainly lookin around new york, new jersey, virginia and all over georgia and i am finding a lot of places i could go....i decided that i would even branch out into magazine editing because i found a few magazines that are hiring although most of my education and experience is in newspapers and id like to stay in newspapers for a little while longer before going back to school....but this is fun and exciting....for the past couple weeks i was stressing over my job and my bills and not seeing my man friend and i was getting a lot of tension headaches and my neck and shoulders were all stiff....but since i started really getting into the job searches and opening up to the possibility of moving ive began to feel a little better...although i still could really go for seeing my man friend, lol...i guess sometimes u just have to really stop worrying about the future and do something to effect it...

i even reconnected with a girl from school, we had tons of classes together since we were both English majors...i met her mentor when i was in reno at my fellowship a month ago...and then i was online and saw that her paper was hiring so i emailed her and asked what was up...she said they r trying to fill her spot cause she is moving to another paper (damn, i was hoping we could meet up) but she said that the editor of her paper is a spelman alumna, sounds good to me, that spelman connection is every where, that how i got my first fellowship....i hope one day i can look out for some grads myself...the sisterhood is crazy....but anyway i told her i would apply and we shall see what happens....im not putting all my eggs in one basket so i have my resume and clips in rotation at a few other places....

so thats it as far as my life at the moment, i have to get on the church newsletter this week, me and my boy been slackin this month, hopefully we will have it ready for print by the end of the week, i gotta do an interview for it...

i also got back into my tae bo, im lovin billy blanks, he aint much to look at but he really makes u work out...i was hoping to start working out in the morning before work, but that aint happening...so ill just have to do it after work like i been doing...

buy yeah thats about it, just hanging out with myself, dreaming big and working hard....

Words are powerful...

compliments of Random House/Roget's American Thesaurus....

black, adj. 1.dark, dusky, sooty, inky, jet-black, raven, ebony, sable, swarthy. 2. soiled, dirty, dingy, dusky, stained. 3. gloomy, sad, dismal, sullen, hopeless, dark, depressing, doleful, funeral, somber, mournful, forbidding, disastrous, calamirous. 4. amoral, evil, wicked, sinful, fiendish, inhuman, devilish, diabolic, infernal, monstrous, atrocious, horrible, outrageous, heinous, flagitious, nefarious, treacherous, traitorous, infamous, villainous.
--Ant. white; clean, pure, undefiled; happy; good, upright.

Boondocks Aug 1-6

HA....this series cracked me up......

Must Be Nice...

okay im feelin this song...and i seem to catch it almost every time i get in the car...now im not a thug, ive never had a hustle, but something about this song just makes me go "yeah it must be nice for someone to just have your back like that"...i cant wait until i have someone i can just come home to and be like yeah this is nice, this is right...i suppose my day will come, i hope soon, but ill bide my time, cant rush the good stuff...gotta be patient and let it work its way into your life...at least thats what ive heard...

Lyfe Jennings
"Must Be Nice"

[1st Verse:]
Must be nice
Having someone who
understands the life you live
Must be nice
Having someone who's slow
to take and quick to give
Must be nice
Having someone who sticks around
when the rough times get thick
someone who's smile is bright
enough to make the projects
feel like a mansion
Must be nice
Having someone who loves
you despite your faults
Must be nice
Having someone who talks the
talk but also walks the walk
Must be nice
Having someone who understands
that a thug has feelings too
someone who loves you for sho'
you just remember to never let 'em go

[Chorus:]
Even when your hustling days are gone
She'll be by your side still holding on
Even when those 20's stop spinning
and all those gold-digging women disappear
she'll still be here

[2nd Verse:]
Must be nice
Having someone you can come home
to from a long day of work
Must be nice
Having someone you don't have to show
they know exactly where it hurts
Must be nice
Having someone who trusts you
despite what they've heard
Someone as mighty as a lion but
still as gentle as a bluebird
Must be nice
Having someone you don't have to
tell you don't want to be alone
Must be nice
Having someone you can grow old
with until God calls ya'll home
Must be nice
Having someone who understands
that a thug has feelings too
someone who loves you for sho'
you never let 'em go

[Chorus]

Doing Work You Love

"One of the most important results you can bring into the world is the you that you really want to be." - Robert Fritz

i bought the book "Doing Work You Love" by Cheryl Gilmore when i found out i would be moving to indiana to start "my career" as a journalist...and i just decided to open it, so far so good...ive read a few interesting things, and most importantly, i have asked myself some important questions...

lately i have been stressing over my career moves, so much so that i have actually gotten a few tension headaches, after the last one i told myself to 'let go and let God'...i rented two Tyler Perry plays over the weekend: Madea's Class Reunion and Meet the Browns and i have to say after all the laughter i had i did take away a couple things...
1)worrying wont make anything in my life happen sooner and wont add anything to my life but actually take precious moments away and 2)ask and it shall be given to you, all you have to do is ask God and at the right moment when He says you are ready you will receive it.....its all about faith....

so i started this book and i wanted to share some of the things i had to stop and think about...

a gift is something you are born with. its something you can do thats as easy as breathing.
a skill is something you learn to do. it may draw upon your gifts.
an interest is something that draws you, that speaks to you.
an experience is an emotional or mental perception that you have or something physical that you have done.

been there heard it before, yes i know, but i kept on going...the book asked some questions i was like aiight lemme attempt to answer these....

1. What is easy and effortless for you to do? whats as easy as breathing? where and when are you doing it now? there are your gifts.

i would say reading and learning is effortless...i enjoy research and i enjoy writing (although i am feeling a little apprehensive about my writing right now.) those things have always come easy to me weaving sentences together, making something concrete that had my ideas laid out has always appealed to me. and reading has always been a joy. reading has relaxed me and allowed me to relieve the stresses of the day, one reason i love fiction...

2. What was the first thing you ever did that you thought was fun...(whatever image or thought that comes to you first is the answer.)What did you like about it? how are you doing that now? these are your gifts.

this is tough, i honestly dont know...i want to say reading again but i dont know if thats right...maybe i need to stop looking for an answer thats "right" cause im not sure if there is one...i dont know if i can answer this question but if i did go with writing, i am writing for a living although i have learned over the past year that i really enjoy editing and page design...

3. What was the first job you ever had (paid or unpaid)that you really enjoyed? What did you love about it and what gives you that same kind of feeling now? these are your gifts.

its a toss up...i enjoyed my job as the assistant manager at a retail store a couple years ago and i also enjoy the work i do now...before then it was fast food crap and babysitting...being a manager was fun, telling folks what to do, making up schedules, meeting new people, helping customers, seeing new merchandise before it comes out, hanging out with co-workers, plus i got a NICE discount on clothes and accessories...and at my job now, i like gathering the news, i like designing pages and seeing the stories i want to see in the paper...

4. Look at what you hate doing, procrastinating on or are constantly struggling with. Write these things down. Choose one thing from that list and delegate it to someone else.

dang...i procrastinate on everything...i dont like this question too much...i like having a deadline to meet so i set myself up to have deadlines..i mean im in an industry full of deadlines...but ive always been like this, throughout school i finished my papers like 20 minutes before class start, and they were good papers..sometimes i would be like whoa i dont deserve this grade...but always maybe procrastinating is a problem cause im laid back to the point where its crunch time and then i worry...

okay so i leave this exercise full of questions for myself...not necessarily with the answers to unlock my potential..or whatever...but questions are good...makes me think and eventually i will solve some things...im going to have to read some more into this book...as far as my career goes, i know im on the right track because i am doing something i love to do, but now i need to go to the next level...i need to focus on reaching my goals...many, many goals...i cant get all the answers in a book, but i can take some things and use them in life...i shall see what i can take from this...

"Do you want to be really happy? You can start by being appreciative of who you are and what you've got." "The Tao of Pooh, Benjamin Hoff

You Know You Grew Up In The 80's or Early 90's If...

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "SIKE"
2. You watched the Pound Puppies.
3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air"...and can do
the "Carlton".
4. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.
5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to
start a club of your own or you read all the Sweet Valley twins books then Sweet Valley High and maybe moved on to V.C. Andrews books
6. You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
7. You know that "WOAH " comes from Joey on Blossom. You also know who Punky Brewster and Vicki (the robot) are.
8. Two words: Hammer Pants
9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock"
10. You had plastic streamers on your handlebars... and"spokey-dokes" or
playing cards on your spokes for that incredible sound effect
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "DuckTales " (Woo ooh!)
12. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles " on the big screen...and still know the turtles names.
15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
17. You played the game "MASH " (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, and House)
18. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.
19. L.A. Gear....need I say more?
21. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing " and all the Ramona books.
22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"
23. You wanted to be a Goonie.
24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us... head-to-toe)
25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.
26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
27. You took lunch boxes to school...and traded Garbage Pail Kids in the schoolyard.
28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
29. You still get the urge to say "NOT " after every sentence.
30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.
31. Jem was your favorite singer.
32. You thought She-ra (Princess of Power!) and He-Man should hook up.
33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.
34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes. (and like #24, probably in neon colors, too)
35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are,but what am I?"
36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"
37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline
skates.
38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.
42. You remember Popples.
43. "Don't worry, be happy"
44. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks/Keds
45. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do... gettingyelled at by "younger hip" members of the family! You even had matching scrunches
46. You remember boom boxes.. and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.
47. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.
48. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"
49. You remember watching "Rainbow Bright" and "My Little Pony Tales"
50. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.
51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool...and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB."
53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By Bell," The ORIGINAL class.
ZACK, SLATER, SCREECH, JESS, KELLY, LISA, AND MR. B
54. You know all the words to Bon Jo vi - "You Give Love A Bad Name"
55. You just sang those words to yourself.
56. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.
57. Homemade Levi shorts.. (the shorter the better)
58. You remember when mullets were cool!
59. You had a mullet!
60. You still sing "We are the World"
61. You tight rolled your jeans.
62. You owned a banana clip
63. You remember "Where's the Beef?"
64. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' about Willis?"
You used to roll your eyes and say "Well" when someone was looking at you and they would probably respond "Well, you smell go to hell Gargomel." Or the most famous, when upset the ultimate disrespect was to say "YO MAMA."
65. You had big hair and you knew how to use it.
66. You're still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren't you!!!
67. You had a key chain with one key and many different designs of lanyard: The box, barrel and snake...
68. You saw Bambi at the movies