Whew..

made it through the layoffs at work...15 people at my paper were left without jobs today...it was supposed to be 30 people...pure craziness...ive never been through anything like this before...and although i stil have my job..i still dont feel secure...the entire company is getting hit hard...throughout the company they are laying off more than 800 people...and right before the holidays...i really dont even have any words...but thank God i still have a job...i have bills up the butt that have to get paid...

other than that life is chill...ran outside the other day..it felt so good..until today, now im so sore..i run harder outside than i do on the treadmill..but it felt so good...the weather was perfect and i has T.I. in my ears...but im hurting right now...i gotta go bakc out tomorrow so my body can get used to the pavement...and i need to stretch better...my thighs are killin me...

i had all types of things to blog about a few days ago but now that im sitting at the computer i cant remember anything..that ever happen to you?

i realize i do some of my best thinking in the shower..the other day i was thinking about some future endeavors..and i realize i miss volunteering..i used to volunteer with the ladies at church, they held workshops for girls ages 11-15ish...every other saturday morning i would go and help with activities and get to know the girls...a mentoring program really...i didnt do as much as i now wish i did..it only takes one person to make an impact on someones life...i was thinking i would love to start a program like that one day for middle school and high school age girls...i really think that is the age you have to uplift them and teach self-esteem and answer all those questions a lot of girls that age are too afraid to really talk about...i would love to mentor and hold outings and create some kind of environment where girls feel safe and secure and learn...

i was thinking about my own past..i have stories to tell..especially about self-esteem and finding yourself and loving yourself...i would love to teach some of the lessons i had to learn...although i do realize some things you just have to go through...but if i can prevent someone from making a few of my mistakes...thats enough, thats worthwhile...so thats a goal...maybe when i move to L.A. in a couple years...if that still is even the plan by then...im not in a place now where i can really do that since i work nights...but hopefully one day...

dont worry...im still around...lol

ive been chillin lately...making lists...planning for the future...and doing a little traveling...

My guy and i have been really thinking about our future and what steps we need to take to get to where we want to be...top of our list is going back to church...we have both been slacking aand both out mamas would not like that fact that we havent been as dedicated as we need to be...i LOVED my church in indiana...and i need to find a good church home here...ill have to ask the ladies at the beauty shop what church they go to...our list actually got pretty long...i feel that we are focused and are both going in the same directiona dn have similar goals...im further along on some of them than he is and he hasme beat in a few areas...but we are ready to help each other and make it work...we have many short-term and long-term goals to reach..im really excited about life and just living each day and enjoying my friends and family...

i also made my own list of things i need to to for myself...i pulled out my old journal and just got to writing..it felt so good and when i got done i felt a lot better..like i made a path for myself...i think thats why i was so down a few weeks ago...life felt foggy...i felt like i was stuck...but now i feel more directed...

now on to my trips...





so i went to atlanta at the end of october and met up with my college girlfriends...it was soo much fun...i hadnt seen my girls in about 2 years and all 4 of us hadnt been all together in about 5 years...i love them so much..those ladies are so full of grace and style and just love life...two of my girls had some problems come up over the weekend but they handled business..didnt let the issues get them down too much...i was honord that i was there to be with them and talk with them during their brief down time...it was like we were back in the dorms...but well, we are grown now...the things we talk ab out and go through are not as petty as back in the day...

we hit up a couple parties, went to tailgate and went back on campus to see how our old home has changed...it was soo beautiful...we ran into a few of our other friends and just reminiced and enjoyed campus again....

my sweetie and i just got back from a weekend in vegas...that was soo much fun...we celebrated our two year anniversary by eating, drinking and walking the vegas strip...we really have so much fun together...we just kicked it and did whatever we wanted until it was time to go home...ill throw some photos of our trip up later...i tried to gamble but i really hate losing money so that didnt work out to well..after losing about 20 dollars on the slot machines i was done...we walked aroundt he malls and just windows shopped for the majority of the trip...but thats something we like to do together...its not about spending money but just looking at different styles and fashions and goofing off together...

now im back at work...but hey, i not mad about it..gotta make money...pay the bills...life feels so awesome right now...all i can do is give thanks for all my blessings and keep on pushin...

Blessed...