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Sunday, April 15, 2007

TOOO FUNNNY!

Madea Black Movie Awards

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

starving...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

my mom doesnt ready my blog but i feel the need to say it anyway....




ok so since i wrote that last entry....i have still yet to write anything...

i did manage to read two books though...watch a few movies....clean the kitchen several times (it relaxes me)....start in on a couple magazines...think about going to the gym...get my nails done...sit on the phone and chat with my man...hang out with the girls...get hit on by a senior citizen....have Easter enchiladas and champagne (gotta love having a Mexican roomie who likes to cook)...found a couple new places to chill at around town... bought some flowers for the house (irises, so pretty)....

but...no writing...no spark...dunno why im looking for a spark but i am...

i was thinking about how much i miss my huny...he has some kinda training in some other state for a month...he has been gone almost two weeks....and im pitiful...i didnt think i would miss him like this...but i do...my girls think its cute....umm i dont...im ready for him to come back...so we can curl up on the couch and watch movies...go to the mall...have sex...real good sex...i noticed the other day that ive been sleeping on his side of the bed...and i hate that side of the bed...i just wanna hug him...give him a shoulder massage...make him a cup of coffee...yeah i got it bad....lol...

but i cant get a poem or nuthin out of any of that...lol...maybe im not trying hard enough...considering i havent actually picked up a pen and notepad and sat down...im just walking around hoping something hits me...lol...i need to DO BETTER...im partially motivated..i cant wait for my mind and my heart to connect so that i can write something im proud of...

marie...stop laughing at me...i know u r reading this...lol...yeah u know your girl is a mess.....

Friday, April 06, 2007

getting my OOMPH back....i hope

i havent written a poem in 2 years...2 years...sad...i decided to sift through the poetry forum on my message board...and i found a bunch of stuff i wrote...i dunno why i stopped...maybe reading over some of my old stuff will inspire me to write again...or maybe not...maybe someone will enjoy these...or maybe not....ahhhh welll...i like 'em...


*Rush*
u always find a way
to situate yourself back into my life
i used to like that about you
you kept my mind stimulated
with your dramatic acts
but
now i wish you would stay away
you are always in this hypnotic rush
to prove to yourself
that im still open?
trying to rush my emotions
trying to convince me
that my feelings for you
remain the same
that my heart still beats to your rhythm
we havent been in syncopation
for quite a long time
but my ego make me
ssshhhhhhh....
because honestly
i like to see you rush
because when we were together
you never did
you cruise controlled your way into my world
but
now you rush
hoping to sweep me up in your fantasy
and i hang on
because
i always love to hear you say
you miss me
and you are sorry
and you arent over me
i have 20 bucks
that says you really are
u just dont want to admit it
but
thats your demon
so
you keep rushing
stumbling over your own heart
trying to take back
a love
thats gone....


*Broken Consentration*
i was trying to read about how
ntozake's colored girls had considered suicide
and leroi was trying to explain to me
why he changed his name to baraka
but all i could think about was how inviting you lips looked
all of a sudden the roar of langstons rivers
sounded like your laugh
and zoras eyes might have been watching God
but i was lost deep in yours
and i couldnt comprehend
why alice was going on about the color purple
because all i was aware of
was the mohagony color of your skin
every fiber in my body was trying
to pay attention to richard and his boy bigger
but i kept getting distracted by your long slender fingers
so i gave up on them and i came to you
and even ms militant giovanni had to crack a smile
at how perfect
i fit in your lap



*i can only write love poems*
i have discovered
that i can only write
love poems
there are no poems
about my rent being due
or my cable being cut off
i havent been able to find inspiration
in my vanilla scented candles
or daises
or those hershey bars with almonds i crave
for some reason
i can only write love poems
i cant describe the glow of the moon
that eminanted through my window last night
or explain the oranges, read and violets
of the sunrise that awakened me this morning
its so amazing
but since i met you
i can only write love poems
mr. shakespeares iambic pentameter
doesnt give me enough creative license
to descibe your eyes
and renaissance prince haki madhubuti's haiku's
dont have enough syllables
to express my feelings about your smile
i almost got frustrated
because
i can only write love poems
i mean poems about you
cause my mind
cant fathom
writing anything else


*silences*
it is always in silence
the silence between the time someone takes a breath
and finally reaches for the lips of another with their own
the absorbtion of the contact,
the feel of tongues dancing together in unison,
the longing look of passionate exchanges to come
it is always in silence
the acceptance of secret places
being caressed and arroused
the reality that a shared wanting
will be revealed
it is always in the silence
that two people share
after being entwined and intermingled
the insecurity and the hope
that lay between them
and keep them intrigued
it is always the silences
that teach about life
the silences
balance the questions
and prepare those
who are not ready
to start realizing the answers
it is always in the silences
where love can grow
the silence can be deafening
to those not ready to listen....


*Hello*
so i am waiting for you to call
and im mad because i am waiting
and pissed off at myself
for realizing that i keep picking up the phone
checking the dial tone
obviously things have changed between us
specifically around the same time
that you said nothing would
and while i do accept that
i still just want you to call one more time
not really even to dwell
on things that have gone down between us
but just to hear one last excuse
or one last answer to a question
i never asked i guess im just looking
for a reason to hang up the phone one last time

*Wrong flavor*
i see you are curious,
you wonder what i taste like
and if you will get a chance to position your body horizontal
to my heart
tasting me takes time
i understand your willingness to woo me
you have been told stories about my eyes
and wonder if you are underestimating the power of my lips
tasting me takes time
i need you to know my history
because then you will begin to understand
my craving for chocolate and candles
which filters into my future (and possibly yours)
tasting me takes time
are you ready to invest your thoughts
do you dare see me as i see myself
are you prepared for all that i have to offer
because tasting me takes time
and many have run out of time
trying to taste the wrong flavor