This weekend i...

rediscovered make up...you know Covergirl, Maybelline, M.A.C....

i was sitting on my couch watching some random tv show and flipping through my October Glamour when i realized i was slippin on the make up...i hadnt put on a lick of make up in some months...i have been so overly enthusiastic about eating better and finding a new job and cleaning my apartment and random other stuff that i kinda just left the make up behind...

this is so unusual because when my mama allowed me to begin wearing make up my senior year of high school i never left home without a made up face and those times i was running late, i had an xtra small make up case packed in my book bag so when i got to school i would run to the bathroom before anyone could see me and did my face up...when i got to college i learned real fast that its too hot in atlanta to be parading around outdoors in august heat in a full made up face..i looked like an oil slick..not cute at all...but that was a good experience for me, i let my face breathe a little and learned about natural beauty...i realized i had become too dependent on make up that without it i felt less of a woman, like i wasnt pretty if i didnt have on at least foundation, eyeshadow, mascara and lipstick...that was a trying time in my life...i was confused and my self esteem was shot....but i worked through it...part of it was going to an all female college and learning to reevaluate my perception of beauty which they reall enforced through a few classes and actually just seeing some beautiful sistas runnign around campus without a lick of make up...and after some time....i was cool, my confidence was up....it was great...i felt free....and relieved...i was still the woman to go to concerning make up, i wasnt a make up artist but i knew my way around some make up brushes and for big events i would hold a beauty salon (and bar, shhhh) in my room for my girls...and when we partied we stepped out looking good...but i use(d) make up to enhance my beauty and did not depend on it to make me beautiful....

so back to the present, i had a drawer full of make up just sitting stagnate...and for some reason i had this urge to look through it and clean it out and maybe even buy a few new items....well when i started looking through my stock of make up i noticed that most of the stuff i had had expired in 2002 and 2003....ummm thats waay past time to throw it out....i mean u are only supposed to keep mascara for 3 months before tossing it...and well lets just say all 4 tubes of my mascaras were all over a year old...so i just started chucking stuff...i ended up keeping a few eye liners, a concealer, and a lip gloss...and actually i should dump a couple of those....

i decided to throw on some shoes and role over to wal-mart because it's closer to me than the mall...i was in wal-mart for a good hour going down their 3 aisles of stuff..i had rethought out my whole make up base and had a plan....i had so many colors and tubes of stuff and i didnt use half of it...in fact ive gotten kinda conservative but i stocked up on some maybelline in nice neutral colors that compliment my skin tone, and not just what was on sale like i used to do...and im cool with it...i went home and reorganized my drawer, now i can use that drawer for clothes like it was built for...i also went out this weekend and bought some new earrings, nice dangling, girly earrings...

i decided to put some pep back in my step for fall...hopefully soon ill buy some new sweaters...i acutally ran into Eddie Bauer...i hadnt been there in a real long time but they have some real cute fall cashmere sweaters, so i picked up a catalog and i may place an order sometime...and im going to make an effort to not just run out the house in anything, i love heels have plenty of them but i swear ive been stuck in my 4 pairs of chinese slippers for at least 2 years....i dont know what happened, i just fell offf, got so comfy in my skin that i got lazy...so im making an effort to look decent, and not just for church...instead of going to work in jeans and a button up shirt....im going to throw on a litle make up and some nice clothes...so that i look on the outside how i feel on the inside......

so we shall see how long this lasts because im not a morning person and the last thing i am thinking about at 6 in the morning is applying eye shadow but i think i can do it every once in a while....