this christmas..was a great movie

is it me or are the holidays not what they used to be?

going christmas shopping and trying to pick out the perfect gift for each person in your life....hiding them when u get home then waiting until night time to wrap them up and stick them under the christmas tree...the tree you helped decorate with ornaments, some from second grade that you made for your mother...baking cookies and watching the christmas movie that TBS ran repeatedly the week before christmas...opening presnts on christmas day, meeting up for chrsitmas dinner with all the family that flew, drove or took trains to get to the house...bringing your tupperware to stock up on food for the next week cause your mother didnt cook (or was that just mine?)

i remember my brother sleeping on my bedroom floor every christmas eve until he was like 19...we would joke around and have some good talks...

i remember being in charge of making the cornbread and opening the cranberry sause for dinner...

one year we did karaoke...my bro and i won...we got money...

the house hold would split once everyone arrived to my aunts house...men/boys downstairs watching the game or playing video games...all the women upstairs putting the finishing touches on dinner, gossiping, offering advice...

i remember my mama buying the chcoclate Tims i wanted...she made me carry the bag home..wrap the boots...fill out a card saying they were from "santa" and then made me put them under the tree until christmas day...

and now...

all the cousins are spread out...aunts and undles have passed away...in the last four years i have been home for the holidays maybe twice...and never stayed more than 3 days...work calls and begs me back...

i was trying to figure out what to get folks for chrsitmas..and all i could come up with was getting everyone gift cards...

am i getting a tree? they are kind of expensive...

and im not TOO sad, i have the memories...i still have my family...and while i wont get to give and receive hugs from everyone...i will call my mamas cell phone and speak to everyone she is near...

my "family" out here..which consists of co-workers and my boyfriend will get together...someone will cook and we will eat, drink and play cards...we will hug and hang out...its not the same as years past...but it will still feel good because i am with people i love...and thinking about people i love

ill miss my aunt's sweet potato pie...and the dressing....mmmm damn...

no, the holidays are not what they used to be...and wont be for a long while...and even when i have my own husband and children (not beofre 30) it wont be what i used to have...but growing is good...i am seeing now that as long as i cherish the memories and keep love in my heart the holidays will always be special...

catchin up...

life has been flowing for me lately...one day at a time right?
my marine...i mean ex-marine...yes, my man is officially out of the service...with a honorble discharge, lol, i was joking that i wouldnt believe until i saw the papers...so, he showed me the papers, lol...
he decided he wanted to stay here and hang with me for a coupleweeks...hopefully a few weeks before heading back home...well he brought all his stuff in...i didnt realize he had so much stuff...he has more clothes than i do...he hung all his uniforms up in the closet...i want him to put them all on for me so i can take pictures...but he refuses...women love men in uniform right?

its been a week so far and it has been so fun..he has me up every morning running...well jogging...well trying not to fallout..lol...im sore but it feels good and we are doing it together so that makes it more enjoyable...i have been cooking my butt off...so that just voids anything i was trying to accomplish by running..but its fun to have someone to cook for...and he can eat...

omg, he can drink too...ummmm do all men drink that much? he went through a gallon of lemonade in 2 days...even the milk is gone...im down to water...i think im going to have to start buying kool-aid again...just thirsty!

aww, i wish i could post some pics of him and Lily, they are soo cute together...they just cuddle up on the couch and sleep...

my big bro is coming to visit tomorrow from Michigan and he is staying until saturday...i cant wait to see him...he got me, him, my man and my homegirl marie tickets to the lakers/pistons game on friday...we are all going to go hang out in LA for the day and then go to the game...im soo excited...i have to clean the room where he will be staying when i get off work...he is such a fun guy..i hope the guys get along...they are pretty different..but im not too worried my brother can get along with anybody...he is a charmer...did i mention he is single...ill have to post a pic...can u tell i adore the hell out of my brother?

but really thats all thats going on ...its pretty tame over here..just playing house for awhile...work is good...i do love what i do..and i think im pretty damn good at it...but i am getting the itch to try something new...dunno...

i am trying not to be worried about one of my friendships...but i feel like we are growing further apart...we dont talk, we barely text...i feel bad cause im not missing her like i thought i would...i think im slightly in mourning over the relationship...its like i knew her good sides and her faults and right now her faults are glaring at me real hard...and i dont like the feeling..i dont want to be like this..i want to have a great relationship with her like we had in the beginning...but now i know too much about her...read her too well...understand her more than she thinks i do...i see her potenetial for greatness...but she doesnt...and yes, that disappoints me to a certain extent...but i learned a long time ago not to live on what I see in someone but focus in on when they are showing me by their actions...and the actions havent been too kosher...so i dont know, i will continue to pray for her...whether i am in her life or not...i guess thats the best i can do...


how yall doin? how is life? whats good, new, exciting, different?