all smiles..and thoughts...

so someone left me a comment about regret and it got me to thinking...

well first i took it personal...especially they way they signed off on the comment...i was perplexed...because i didnt know who this was...and i was disappointed that they didnt leave a name..cause i would like to recall memories of the person i allowed myself to open up to...there are not many who i have let in tht way...

and then i started thinking...maybe its not real tears i have let this person see...i place a lot of my tears on paper...and in this blog....

and then i thought about the regrets part...honestly i think i skimmed it the first couple times i read it...i actually had to make myself read it word for word...and id like to say i didnt do too much reflecting on it but i did...

here is what i came up with: i dont believe i harbor much regret, i refuse to say no regrets because im sure there is something, somewhere inside me...but i like to think that everything i have been through..all my experiences...my obersvations...is me growing...and how can you regret growing? i have so much appreciation for the changes in my life...spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally....i have had pain, and happiness...and everything in between and on either side...and i am blessed...because i am still here, living my life out loud...

so i was thinking if i take all that this anonymous person left literally and to my core as someone who i once knew...i have determined...they dont know me...or at least they dont know this 26 year old woman who is typing this...they may have gotten close to a younger version of shauna...the one who was scared and frontin...skeptical...the one who didnt understand love for self...or at least hadnt gotten her mind wrapped all the way around the concept, lol...

whew...i cant wait until i hit 30...imma be so much more a woman...and when 40 hits...shyt, no one will be able to say anything to me...ill be so grown...watch out!

isnt it great that each day you wake up you are older...you are wiser...life is more fulfilling...well thats my opinion anyway...

you know writing this made me feel...encouraged...before i posted i went and read a bunch of quotes from alice walker, ntozake shanges, nikki giovanni and pearl cleage...those women uplift me everytime i search for them...everytime i seek them out i see something i havent read before...i get so inspired..ill have to make a post one day of just quotes...