love, marriage and vegas...

hey beautiful people!
so here i am sitting at work snackin on some twizzlers....waiting for the night to end so i can wrap up and go home...i think CNN is on every tv right now...we are focused on the convention...im editing and designing the weeklies so i am knee deep in local/community news...tuesday's are probably my most relaxing days at work...my editor leaves at 8 p.m. so i am usually done by 8:15...but my shift is not up until 11...so i usually help other copy editors out and skim the news and gossip sites...

random: dont know why i like that t-pain and lil wayne song...i just do...plus i just love lil wayne's swagger...very sexy...

my sweetie and i are planning a trip to vegas to celebrate 2 years of putting up with each other...i mean two years of love and companionship...lol...im really excited...i live about 4 hours from vegas and have not taken time to go and visit..im not a gambler so i never really thought there would be anything for me to do in vegas...but he has been a few times with his boys...he has been researching hotels and want us to get spa treatments and im thinking he wasnt to go see a show...thought im not sure what...i wanna be surprised so im not asking...i told him since he was paying for all that id rent a nice car for the trip...

i told my co-worker that we were planning to go to vegas and he said "uh oh, yall gonna get married." ummm no...lol...i love the thought of marrying him..but it def wont happen that way... we talk about the future a lot...but we havent brought up marriage..and im cool with that..at a time when i have friends getting married and having babies i know we are not at the place just yet...i dont think about my biological clock or anything like the magazines say i should...i remember my best friends and i had it all planned at 22 that we would be married by 26 and pop out a kid by 30....well im 27 and in love...and thats just fine with me...would i love to be engaged? well the concept sounds real good, and im pretty sure a diamond would looke wonderful on my finger..if anything, its would be an excuse to get regular manicures...but a ring isnt that important at the moment...he is trying to start his career and im trying to figure out my next move...but long as we are both moving in the same direction i know that it will happen eventually...its all in God's hands, so if thats his plan, i wont argue, lol...

i think this is the first guy i ever really, truly thought about spending the rest of my life with...we just have so much fun..and half the time we are finishing each others thoughts and we both want the same things out of life...he compliments me and i do the same for him...we make each other better...its been almost two years and i can still talk about him all day and just thinking about him makes me smile...i look at him sometimes and think "damn he is gorgeous" lol...so i know this is some real love and im just enjoying it...i know i can tell him anything...ok, im done...lol...i told you i can talk about him all day....

so...who has been to vegas? where are some good places to eat, walk around, site see, etc? what are some good anniversary gifts for a guy? i have a couple ideas but could always use more...

my cup runneth over

so i was watching some movie over the weekend...jlo and richard gere...shall we dance? i think thats what its called..but anyway...i began thinking sometime during the movie how one desicion can change your life...one choice you make...even something as simple as whether to turn left or right can alter your future...i also started thinking about how some people live their lives as not to shake up their routine...gere took the same train home everyday and lived his life, harboring pieces of him that begged for more out of life, so that he would not potentially hurt his wife's feelings...he loved his wife and did not want her to feel as if she didnt make him happy enough...he wanted her to feel comforted in the knowledge that she was all he needed..but in reality he was holding himself back from himself...of course in the end it all comes together and they end up more in love than before....

that movie (as corny as it was) reminded me to keep living life, happily...to not put pieces of myself on the backburner for anyone and to take risks because i might find something new or i might have a powerful experience that will help me grow...and to trust in God's plan for my life...

"pieces of me shattered, jagged...broken...i picked my soul off the floor...piece by piece...slowly...carefully...scared to cut myself...with myself...i already had enough self-inflicted scars...i saw a part of myself...in each piece...a reflection of who...what...and where...i have been...i wanted to cry...but had no tears...i attempted to smile...but the life...wouldnt ...couldnt...reach my eyes...i was tired...of giving myself away...to the highest bidder...i no longer had the heart to keep reaching out...and grasping nothing...my shoulders were sore...from carrying everyones baggage...worried...needing to find me again...i cradled me in my hands...and closed my eyes...praying God would hear my voice...i remembered me...and i was whole again"

i found this e-mail i had sent to myself i guess more than a year ago...i send myself a lot of emails, just little phrases that float through my mind...i finally decided to clean out my inbox and this is what i found...and im actually amazed, im trying to figure out what was going on in my life at the time but its so far removed from where i am now that i cant even dwell on it too much...it makes me sad... anyway...i went home a couple weeks ago to visit the fam..ill write on that later..still trying to sort a few things out in my mind...plus i wanna post a couple pics so ill do that too...take care