Hola

Happy June!
Hope everyone is well. It's been quite a while since i have gotten on here and shared my life. I guess I've just been a little lazy lately with the blogging...I think I may have needed a little time out...not that i am the most regular blogger in the world in the first place but...well, you know...i did miss blogging though...i was so used to gathering up a few thoughts and sharing...

but lets see..in the last few weeks...Ely and I went to michigan to see my family...that was a fun trip, i was a little nervous at first because he had never met my parents..only talked to my mom on the phone a few times...but we have been together more than 2 years, it was past time to make that trip..i still have to visit his folks but we spent so much money on the michigan trip...thats going to have to be put on hold for a few months...the time at home was nice though...he got to see where i grew up and the places i worked in high school and the places i used to hang out at during summers home in college...

of course he had to stay at my big bro's house... my mama aint have that, lol...but it was cool, they had already met about a year ago so they were cool...we really didnt do much, just relax and chill with my family...my mom LOVES him...my dad..well, he likes him and thats as much as you are going to get from my dad....

while we were in michigan we had to break the news to my dad that we were living together...that was an interesting night...full of emotion..i think we all cried at one point...but it was good...my parents finally started seeing me as more than just their little girl...i have never had an experience like that...but they saw that we were serious about our relationship and are committed to each other...my mom is trying to start planning now...ive had to tell her a few times to calm down...we will work that out when the time is right...i am happy right now, our relationship is beautiful and i dont believe in rushing to get married just because we have chosen to live together...

other than that life has been pretty uneventful...TRYING to save money...which doesnt seem to happen as often as i would like...there is always some bill popping up...sometimes i just dont know what to do...but i try my hardest not to stress about money...my bills are paid, my car had gas and i am employed...i have a lot more going for me that a lot of people...to i am learning to appreciate what i have and thank God for all his blessings...speaking of God, i am really happy we found the church we have been attending for a few months...i learn something new every week...im growing...i just have to be patient with myself...

i know i have a lot more to so spill but i cant seem to get it together right now...i should write down my thoughts and feelings daily...and i do A LOT of thinking...sometimes i get so inside my head i have to make myself stop...i have to make myself to engage in conversation so folks dont think something is wrong with me...

on a lighter note...i got a hair cut..its a cute bob..ill have to post a photo as soon as i get my camera working...i really am loving it...its very summery...

How is life treating you fellow bloggers? Has Hunnie had the baby yet? Is the economy hitting ya'll hard? How is the weather, lol?

I'll be back soon...i think my blog break is over...

the return of sable...

I took a trip to my other blog - the one kept somewhat secret and i havent posted anything on it in probably more than a year - but it was nice just looking back and seeing how far ive come....i believe i started the blog in 2005 when i was still in indiana and it looks like i stopped posting a little while after i met Ely...

it was crazy reading about some of my past relationships...with so much detail...im not sure if i ever put that much detail in this blog, but im wondeirng if i should start..it was so refreshing just seeing all the emotions and thoughts i went through to end up in the place i am now...i talk about how this one guy went and got this girl preggers while we were still dealing with each other...and then come wanting sympathy and a shoulder to cry on (ooh, and tried to get in my pants) when she went and had an abortion without telling him...sad situation, but i am not the one...

i talk about my wonderful relationship with this guy that just taught me so much about loving myself and how a man is supposed to treat a woman (if you are reading this, Thank you, you know who you are, im not going to put ya business in the street :))...and even though we had to part ways after a year and some change it was such a great experience and i value all the good times and the pain...

man i read about the ups and downs and pain i went through with my college ex...if he only knew half of the shyt i kept from him, i dont think we would be cool at all...and another ex who wanted to marry me, and how i wasnt ready for all that then, and the struggle with having to deal with that...

i fell in lust with this other wonderful man, who, til this day i have never met face to face...but the friendship we forged is 100% real and he also helped me grow...that was/is a magical relationship...im glad he is in my life, even if we dont talk regularly...

and its so funny reading about Ely and how i didnt think it was going to go anywhere at first, i knew he was feeing me but wasnt sure if i was ready to enter into a relationship...two and a half years later we are still going strong...

and, know it wasnt even all about men..i talked about job uncertainties, partying, my mother and how much i adore her..and even saw pieces of a story i started and never finished, i just may start adding to it...it was crazy just reading how much life really affects me...i gloss over a lot when i talk about my past...but i have two years of my life detailed in this blog...my guts, my thoughts, my contradictions are all over the place...i think i need to bring that back..not be so afraid to show that world...thats why i started that blog because i was scared to put myself out there on this blog plus i didnt want to hurt anyones feelings who knew about this blog, cause i tear some folks up...but i think im good now...i dont think i need a "secret" blog anymore...

i wish i had started blogging in college...man, that would have been something to look back on...i was CRAZY in college...so full of bullshyt and insecurities...hiding all of my fears with a slick tongue and sex appeal...not being real with myself ended up hurting me the most...i just want to go back and hug that little girl...tell her to stop frontin..

but i am so happy with life right now...i really dont think i have much to write about at the moment but i like to talk about myself too much to stop blogging...i should post the beginning of the story i stopped working on...i guess i really just admired the way a spilled my guts to the limited few who had access to that blog...and i really appreciate them having my back and not judging my experiences...and i appreciate the experiences for molding and shaping the woman i am growing into...

growing in all directions...

I keep telling myself im going to post more on my blog...i used to post at least twice a week...i will continue to work on it...

i went bowling on sunday for the first time in about four years...and i cant bowl at all, but its was fun just hanging out, goofing off and laughing...i think my highest game was like a 77...yeah...HA!...funny how the more wine i drank the better i got...we bowled with one of eli's (i think this is the first time i used his name on this blog)clients, she also does my hair from time to time and is the one that invited us to church...she calls us her kids...its nice to have a mother figure around....but they made a side bet that if he didnt break 100 during the last game the next training session he would have to do all the working out instead of her...he lost...lol...she was already plotting on how she was going to have him running and doing a bunch of push ups...i had to tell her that doing all that won't phase him, that's less than his daily workout...

sunday was a good day though...we got up and went to church, to the mall and out to eat...eli bought us matching all white air force ones...we were joking that in michigan, we call them "ones" and in milwaukee, where he's from, they call them dookies"...i have no clue how folks nickname an all white shoe "dookie"...but anyway, it was cute...we wore them to the bowling alley...

church has been really good for us...we always leave thinking about what was said and talking about how it applies to our life..its allowing us to have a different kind of conversation and strengthening our relationship...

life is so simple right now...and thats not a bad things at all...
there was a post on my messageboard asking folks if they could go back in time and change something they regret doing without it effecting their future, would they would do it...
my first thought was i dont regret anything...but after thinking about it for awhile, i realize thats not true...but i dont think i regret anything enough to go back and change anything...i realize a lot of the things i regret are things i did to myself, that affected my body and my mind...and while that was all painful to work through, i needed to learn those lessons...i made it harder on myself, but i learned...now the question says that erasing past deeds will not affect the future but then how else would i have learned those lessons? how could i be the person i am if i erased those situations and experiences? growing pains are an essential part of life...

antway, how is everyone? anything new, interesting or exciting?