Hola

Happy June!
Hope everyone is well. It's been quite a while since i have gotten on here and shared my life. I guess I've just been a little lazy lately with the blogging...I think I may have needed a little time out...not that i am the most regular blogger in the world in the first place but...well, you know...i did miss blogging though...i was so used to gathering up a few thoughts and sharing...

but lets see..in the last few weeks...Ely and I went to michigan to see my family...that was a fun trip, i was a little nervous at first because he had never met my parents..only talked to my mom on the phone a few times...but we have been together more than 2 years, it was past time to make that trip..i still have to visit his folks but we spent so much money on the michigan trip...thats going to have to be put on hold for a few months...the time at home was nice though...he got to see where i grew up and the places i worked in high school and the places i used to hang out at during summers home in college...

of course he had to stay at my big bro's house... my mama aint have that, lol...but it was cool, they had already met about a year ago so they were cool...we really didnt do much, just relax and chill with my family...my mom LOVES him...my dad..well, he likes him and thats as much as you are going to get from my dad....

while we were in michigan we had to break the news to my dad that we were living together...that was an interesting night...full of emotion..i think we all cried at one point...but it was good...my parents finally started seeing me as more than just their little girl...i have never had an experience like that...but they saw that we were serious about our relationship and are committed to each other...my mom is trying to start planning now...ive had to tell her a few times to calm down...we will work that out when the time is right...i am happy right now, our relationship is beautiful and i dont believe in rushing to get married just because we have chosen to live together...

other than that life has been pretty uneventful...TRYING to save money...which doesnt seem to happen as often as i would like...there is always some bill popping up...sometimes i just dont know what to do...but i try my hardest not to stress about money...my bills are paid, my car had gas and i am employed...i have a lot more going for me that a lot of people...to i am learning to appreciate what i have and thank God for all his blessings...speaking of God, i am really happy we found the church we have been attending for a few months...i learn something new every week...im growing...i just have to be patient with myself...

i know i have a lot more to so spill but i cant seem to get it together right now...i should write down my thoughts and feelings daily...and i do A LOT of thinking...sometimes i get so inside my head i have to make myself stop...i have to make myself to engage in conversation so folks dont think something is wrong with me...

on a lighter note...i got a hair cut..its a cute bob..ill have to post a photo as soon as i get my camera working...i really am loving it...its very summery...

How is life treating you fellow bloggers? Has Hunnie had the baby yet? Is the economy hitting ya'll hard? How is the weather, lol?

I'll be back soon...i think my blog break is over...

the return of sable...

I took a trip to my other blog - the one kept somewhat secret and i havent posted anything on it in probably more than a year - but it was nice just looking back and seeing how far ive come....i believe i started the blog in 2005 when i was still in indiana and it looks like i stopped posting a little while after i met Ely...

it was crazy reading about some of my past relationships...with so much detail...im not sure if i ever put that much detail in this blog, but im wondeirng if i should start..it was so refreshing just seeing all the emotions and thoughts i went through to end up in the place i am now...i talk about how this one guy went and got this girl preggers while we were still dealing with each other...and then come wanting sympathy and a shoulder to cry on (ooh, and tried to get in my pants) when she went and had an abortion without telling him...sad situation, but i am not the one...

i talk about my wonderful relationship with this guy that just taught me so much about loving myself and how a man is supposed to treat a woman (if you are reading this, Thank you, you know who you are, im not going to put ya business in the street :))...and even though we had to part ways after a year and some change it was such a great experience and i value all the good times and the pain...

man i read about the ups and downs and pain i went through with my college ex...if he only knew half of the shyt i kept from him, i dont think we would be cool at all...and another ex who wanted to marry me, and how i wasnt ready for all that then, and the struggle with having to deal with that...

i fell in lust with this other wonderful man, who, til this day i have never met face to face...but the friendship we forged is 100% real and he also helped me grow...that was/is a magical relationship...im glad he is in my life, even if we dont talk regularly...

and its so funny reading about Ely and how i didnt think it was going to go anywhere at first, i knew he was feeing me but wasnt sure if i was ready to enter into a relationship...two and a half years later we are still going strong...

and, know it wasnt even all about men..i talked about job uncertainties, partying, my mother and how much i adore her..and even saw pieces of a story i started and never finished, i just may start adding to it...it was crazy just reading how much life really affects me...i gloss over a lot when i talk about my past...but i have two years of my life detailed in this blog...my guts, my thoughts, my contradictions are all over the place...i think i need to bring that back..not be so afraid to show that world...thats why i started that blog because i was scared to put myself out there on this blog plus i didnt want to hurt anyones feelings who knew about this blog, cause i tear some folks up...but i think im good now...i dont think i need a "secret" blog anymore...

i wish i had started blogging in college...man, that would have been something to look back on...i was CRAZY in college...so full of bullshyt and insecurities...hiding all of my fears with a slick tongue and sex appeal...not being real with myself ended up hurting me the most...i just want to go back and hug that little girl...tell her to stop frontin..

but i am so happy with life right now...i really dont think i have much to write about at the moment but i like to talk about myself too much to stop blogging...i should post the beginning of the story i stopped working on...i guess i really just admired the way a spilled my guts to the limited few who had access to that blog...and i really appreciate them having my back and not judging my experiences...and i appreciate the experiences for molding and shaping the woman i am growing into...

growing in all directions...

I keep telling myself im going to post more on my blog...i used to post at least twice a week...i will continue to work on it...

i went bowling on sunday for the first time in about four years...and i cant bowl at all, but its was fun just hanging out, goofing off and laughing...i think my highest game was like a 77...yeah...HA!...funny how the more wine i drank the better i got...we bowled with one of eli's (i think this is the first time i used his name on this blog)clients, she also does my hair from time to time and is the one that invited us to church...she calls us her kids...its nice to have a mother figure around....but they made a side bet that if he didnt break 100 during the last game the next training session he would have to do all the working out instead of her...he lost...lol...she was already plotting on how she was going to have him running and doing a bunch of push ups...i had to tell her that doing all that won't phase him, that's less than his daily workout...

sunday was a good day though...we got up and went to church, to the mall and out to eat...eli bought us matching all white air force ones...we were joking that in michigan, we call them "ones" and in milwaukee, where he's from, they call them dookies"...i have no clue how folks nickname an all white shoe "dookie"...but anyway, it was cute...we wore them to the bowling alley...

church has been really good for us...we always leave thinking about what was said and talking about how it applies to our life..its allowing us to have a different kind of conversation and strengthening our relationship...

life is so simple right now...and thats not a bad things at all...
there was a post on my messageboard asking folks if they could go back in time and change something they regret doing without it effecting their future, would they would do it...
my first thought was i dont regret anything...but after thinking about it for awhile, i realize thats not true...but i dont think i regret anything enough to go back and change anything...i realize a lot of the things i regret are things i did to myself, that affected my body and my mind...and while that was all painful to work through, i needed to learn those lessons...i made it harder on myself, but i learned...now the question says that erasing past deeds will not affect the future but then how else would i have learned those lessons? how could i be the person i am if i erased those situations and experiences? growing pains are an essential part of life...

antway, how is everyone? anything new, interesting or exciting?

catfish and kool-aid

a couple days ago i really had something to blog about...but i didnt write it down so now im just typing jibberish..

so my puppy is too smart for his own good..actually i should say my puppy is too greedy for his own good...or maybe ill just say, my puppy is bad as hell...

i left my cell phone on the kitchen counter the other night because i didnt feel like carrying it...there was also a to-go box of food on the counter...yeah do you see where this is going...

well, marcus was able to swipe down my cell phone cause the food was a little too far away...and he decided my phone was good enough to chew on...sooo, i ended up having to get a new phone, but i had to wait for sprint to order a new one and my old one was out of commission...

those two days without a phone made me realize how much i depend on it..and its not that i even talk on the phone that much..but i now i see how much i use it for other things...texting, sudoku, i write notes to myself constantly because im always forgetting something, i am always setting the reminder on my calendar...but all is well, i got my new phone and bought a new plastic case for it...and i now that i know he can jump and get stuff down i wont be leaving my phone lying around anymore...lesson learned...

i had some time off work and one of my best friends came out to visit...we had such a good time...myra and i have been friends since 6th grade...it was so good to kick it with her...mostly we just went shopping...we went out and got mani/pedis and i took her to a couple of my fav places to eat...myra, my friend marie, my boyfriend and i went to salsa night at one of the casinos...and then sat around talking and nursing our drinks that we didnt even dance...i wont even comment on the high card/low card games...lets just say i wont be drinking vodka anytime soon...

myra and my boyfriend clicked really well and myra and marie seemed like instant sisters...

i once told marie that if i were able to get my close girlfriends in one place for at least a weekend, i have no doubt everyone would get along...i think the core values all my friends have in common are loyalty, logic and a very strick moral compass...and well they all seem to love my crazy ass for some reason....sooo ladies...when can we get together?

life is pretty good right now despite the dragging economy...my sweetie has been doing some networking for his personal training business and we are just enjoying each other and planning for the future...
we dont have much but we are happy with what we have and we both know there is more in store...we have family, health and each other...we have started going back to church..all though its been a slow process, we keep waking up late, but we are determined...

we saw madea goes the jail the other week...that was a cute movie..but...i think they spent so much time setting up the plot once it got it its climax it kinda zoomed to the finish...and once you saw the credits rolling i started feeling like i missed something...

oh and i must pat myself on the back...i made the best fried catfish the other day...my sweetie and i started this "tradition" that every first monday in the month is fried catfish monday...we usually have catfish filets or nuggets and rotate different side dishes every month...so since my girl was here i made enough for us and invited over marie and shabazz...i hooked it up with greens, mac and cheese (it was perfect, extra cheesy on the inside with that baked crust on the outside) and cornbread...yes,its friday and im still patting myself on the back...it was amazing...we all pigged out...

i hope everyone is doing well in blog land...Hunnie you have the cutest baby belly i have ever seen! i cant wait until you pop out booter! im sure you cant either, lol

im drinking hot tea

the title is dedicated too shabazz, lol...we have had a couple interesting convos the past week, lol

So i told my mom my huny and i are living together..she took it pretty well...even though she managed to get in "shackin up," living in sin," and "playing house" all in one phone converstation...i understand she just wants to make sure that he was contributing financially...after that issues with my old roomie i see my mama is just looking out for me...i keep telling her, mama his is a good guy, he has his shyt together, no need to worry...she was like i cant wait to see your dads face when yall tell him...mmmm, thats going to be interesting...since my dad still thinks im 12...

i mailed some picks home of my trip to atlanta for homecoming and the trip to vegas and my dad said that my shirt was a little low...i had a on a beater...thats not low...but i suppose thats the price you pay for being a daddy's girl...you never get to grow up...i want to ask my mom "doesnt dad know im closer to 30 than i am to 20?"...but i didnt i mean really whats the point...i understand..im the baby girl...but it can get irritating..anyone else have this experience?

anyway my mom is so excited about our trip home...its not until the end of april..we havent even got tickets yet...but she has been waiting for more than two years to meet him...its kinda cute...she has been telling her church friends about meeting him and they keep telling her he is coming home to "properly ask my father for permission to marry me."..umm no, lol...its just WAY past time for them to meet...my parents dont have the money to get out here and plus they dont like to fly and i barely get home more than once a year myself...so this is going to be a nice trip...of course he has to stay at my brothers house...my parents are real old school...besides i no longer have a room at my parents house anway...my bed is the couch...

we took the dogs hiking the other day..it was so fun...marcus and lily and a great time running around and sniffing everything...they didnt want to get back on their leashes...the hike wore them out, they slept most of the rest of the day...which is a good thing cause marcus has learned how to get things off the counter...he helped himself to some guacamole the other night when we were gone...

anyway life is good...pretty simple..but wonderful...my family is good, friends are doing great..although i miss them...andrea being in new york and pru and tootie in atlanta...way too far from me...but i have marie here to hold me down and my huny as we continue to grow closer and make future plans...

ive been thinking about a lot of people i used to deal with lately...old roomie, a couple ex's...i realize how much i want them to be happy...even if i dont talk to them often or not at all..ive been feeling the need to reach out more...mend relationships...at the same time i feel good letting the past be the past...ive moved on...so im really not sure what these feelings mean...or what i should do with them...but a part of me knows i just shouldnt sit on them..be proactive somehow...

we decided to have a bbq in a couple weeks..it should be fun...for all yall east coast people..its be in the 80s here the past week..nice huh? i dont have much money but i love having people over and cooking...it will all work out...folks need to fellowship more often...im going to try and get a spades table rockin along with a couple other games...and i have a feeling the shot glasses will be coming out...if yall are in the neighborhood feel free to stop by and kick it!

Today was a WONDERFUL day!

-Reuters

I woke up early this morning, made a huge cup of coffee and got comfy on the couch to see my president sworn in...it was beautiful...surreal...we have come a long way and we are truly blessed...my president has to get down to business tomorrow morning...but for today...lets just smile...and dance...cheers

Just a little Christmas story...

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year...

I was talking with my mother over the holidays and she was giving me more details into my adoption...its kinda facinating..well it is for me because i thought i knew everything but i guess now that im older my mom is a bit more free with the information...or maybe now that im older im more interested in talking about it...

my mom calls me her Christmas present because she got me right before Christmas when i was 5 months old...what i didnt know is that it may not have happened...timing is everything...

in 1976, after 2 or 3 miscarriages my mom gave birth to a baby boy...she says he had her facial features and my dads long limbs...he also had an enlarged heart and he died in the hospital when he was only a few months old...

i was telling my mom that i cant even begin to identify the pain her and my father went through...and she said for some couples an experience like that could tear them apart but for her and my dad it brought them closer..they realized how much they needed to lean on each other...

a few years later they decided to adopt and were looking into adopting a little girl...my brother was born in 1979 and when he was around nine months old the agency told them about him and they immediately said "give him to us," lol...they named him alex...and to this day they adore the mess out of him...shooot, i do too...

so after they got him in 1980 they had to wait a year before they were able to adopt again...i was born in july, before the year was up and the woman at the agency couldnt even tell them about me until the year was complete...luckily, i wasnt adopted by another family during that time...in december 1981 the agency called my mother and said "we have a little girl for you, she is 5 months"...my mom told her "i'll will be there in the morning" the woman called back and said "umm, you should prbably bring your husband too!"

...they brought half the family...and i came home with them...right before Christmas...when God has a plan in mind, its always turns out right...my family is close...and we all look alike...my bro looks like my mom and i look more like my dad..no one every believes we arent blood...

ya'll go hug your families as this new year starts...send a prayer up to God thanking him for life and love...and if you are beefin with cousins or brothers and sisters...reach out to them...they need you...and you need them...family is a blessing...i realize that more and more every year since im out here in california and everyone else is in michigan...i hate missing out on birthdays and holiday get-togethers..but this is my path, i chose it...but i know as long as i carry my family in my heart they are never far from me...

Happy New Year!