Only in Michigan?

i had a rather amusing conversation with my boy derek last night....dont ask how it all started because im not sure...i do know he is the reason that that montell jordan song 'lets ride' will not stop playing in my head...if he wouldnt have sang the darn song a good 5 times last night i would be so much more settled right now...lol

but during the convo we started talking about how parties and clubs dont play music like they used to....there are no slow songs...ever...just the radio rotation with probably a little break in the middle for some reggae....

there is no slow dancing anymore...no more "its time to talk about taking you home now cause the place is about to shut down" type music....

so we started thinking is it only a michigan thing...we are both from michigan although we didnt meet until we were in college in atlanta....but we compared notes and realized we both had the same experiences with music and also noted that our michigan friend who DJ'ed a lot of parties we went to in atlanta always brought the michigan flavor....

this is what we noticed....in michigan whenever we went to dances...there was a certain format/sequence that could always be followed by whoever was DJ'ing the party:

first - the DJ would play all the popular songs that were on the regular radio rotation

second - he would really get folks riled up by spinning some mid-west stuff, ex. Jit, Perculator..the music where all u could do was feel the beat, and DANCE, even if u started dancing by yourself i guarentee by the end u had a partner...now this is the time where the party could get really raunchy (since my mom chaperoned every single party i went to that was not the case for me)...

third - at the end of the dance the last maybe 5 songs would be slow grind type songs...the real sultry songs that would give u the chance to simulate the deed your mama and daddy did to bring u into this world....the ones where u would ask for, or be asked for, your number...being that we were in high school it was a little more innocent than college...u didnt go home with anyone because most likely your mama was coming to pick u and your girls up...or was already waiting outside for you and you couldnt take to long to get out the place because u didnt want you mama to have to park and get out..that would mean some real hard embarrassment for you...

now...that was michigan...and those were FUN....maybe its because we were a lot less innocent then when we were in college...but it was a time when u could cool out and just chill at the end of the party....the wind down time...

there is no more wind down time now....its all bang, bang, bang, bang....get hype! get hype!

so then we started talking about our DJ friend in atlanta and how he brought that michigan flavor with him...he threw some of the BEST loft parties while i was in school...and i loved that i got in on the friends and family free free disount....

and although he probably didnt play as much Jit and Perculator he mangaged to throw a little in from time to time....but what he always did....he always had the slow set at the end...songs like Anywhere by 112 and T-shirt and Panties by Adina...and this one thumper of a grind song that i cannot recall the name of right now but it had one hell of a melody....

if i may reminice one mo' 'gin...one time me and my college boyfriend, cornell, had had another one of our famous fights over nothing in particular, as usual....and of course we ended up at the same party, as usual...eyeballing each other on the dance floor but not really having any words for each other...

((oh and yeah another thing about these slow times was that the lights went REAL dim, almost black , at this party with my ex there was a blue light in one corner and a red one in another corner, and the loft was packed from wall to wall))

so anyway my boy threw on this slow banger of a song...and i was on the dance floor and he was on the dance floor...MMMMMAAAAAAANNNN......all was forgiven after that dance....OOOKKKKKAAYYY.....it was just like yeah BOOM we back...the dancing was just so sensual and erotic that we HAD to make up....

but anyway...so me and derek were speaking on the phone like where are those songs? and how come there is no more slow dancing anymore....

i also remember derek and my boy justin (another MI representative) threw a house party...and of course it was dark...and i remember me and derek getting kind of close against the wall, just dancing yet it was slightly arrousing....i saw him in a whole new light after that...or it could have just been the drinks were kicking in...HA..i hope he doesnt read this....but u know house parties, it got broken up a few songs later...

so we were wondering is it just a michigan thing? just the chill slow dance time at a party? does anyone still do that or is it just dead and gone....and all we have left are the memories...

derek said he was going to throw a party...and it was going to be a nice michigan style party..lots of dancing, and a slow set at the end...id love to attend that.....grab a nice drink, kick back and just dance all night..have my girls around me and my boys there too...meeting new people, singing, dancing...and just having a good time.......

i really have to move.....LOL....

i HAVE to have this.....

Have a Blessed Thanksgiving!

and the violinist keeps playin...

i had a friend i hadnt talked to in months....we kinda stopped talking around his birthday...i thought he was mad at me and then i got mad cause how he gonna be mad at me and not tell me he is mad at me or why he is mad......well turned out he was not/is not mad...he was just at a point in his life where he needed to pull back from a lot of people...and internal struggle..and i can respect that...i swear i go through a new one every other week...

we saw each other homecoming and it was awkward...but we made it through...so last night - the night when i swore i was going to go to bed at a decent hour so that i could get enough sleep to be at work at 7 a.m....yeah well he called and we had a good 2 hour convo...discussed what was going on in our lives...changes...things that have stayed the same...it was good...it felt really comfortable...there was no weirdness...thats cool...he was one guy i could always chill out with, hang out and have a good time and not have to worry about my safety and i always had a good time....so it was good to reconnect...i have my friend back....i even talked to his mam for a quick sec...i think he is going to call my mama soon, she has been asking about him...i know she is going to give him the 3rd degree..

that the one thing about my fam...if you come to the house just once u r family for life and folks will check up on you...

i get to work this morning and my coworker offer me a bag of what looks like some flour and water mixed together..she then hands me a piece of paper...its Amish Friendship Bread...u have to mash the ingredients in the bag for like 10 days and then add some other ingredients in a few days....and eventually bake...its sounds kinda cool...i heard the bread is really good...im on day 2..so i gotta few days before i can do anthing with it....i guess the yeast rises in the bag...that will be fun to see and finally eat....now i just have to maintain my patience...

i finished reading Assata: An Autobiography...its about assata shakur, the black panther party, her childhood , her trials and finally her escape to cuba...its really well written and very interesting...near then end she writes something that i really liked:
"Dreams and reality are opposites. Action synthesizes them."

i cant wait for tomorrow...im so excited...im going to wake up, grab a new book my mom bought me when i was at home and read until i either go back to sleep or get hungry enough to move...

stuck...dammit...

so how do i get over writers block?

ive been yakking away on this blog and another blog of mine.....but that doesnt count.....

i feel like my ceativity is gone.....

i cant write....i feel like i shouldnt even claim to be any kind of writer......

i feel like i have no skills....

nikki giovanni usually inspirres me....so im tryin to read and let her do some magic...motivate me....

but i shouldnt need motivation right?

dammit....this sucks....

i dont feel like i should push myself, force some words out.....but i dont feel like i should be waiting around hoping some idea sparks something....

i need to be proactive....like diddy....refresh my sexy....

dunno....

im all consiptated...literally and figuratively......but some bran flakes, and an apple will clear that up...i cant stand laxatives...thats punishment...but i need one for my brain....

a brain laxative....

hmmm...

i would be a millionare....

dammit....

now im hungry....

in more ways than one...

i wanna write...i wanna write somthing that not garbage....

i wanna feel creative again....

so what do i do? i hate complainers who dont do anything to make their situation better...all they do is talk about their problems....that shoo aint gonna help solve it.....

oh shyt, thats me at the moment...

well i gotta do sumthin then...

dammit....

Weekend trip home...

i went home this weekend to see my family...my grandma celebrated her 86th birthday and we had a little party for her...i love my grandma, she is so fiesty with such a quick wit...and a deep faith and spiritual base...i love her so much...she is so strong and vibrant...even when she is not feeling well she has this sparkle in her eyes that lets u konw she is still right there with you...so Happy 86th Grandma...

my mom and i went to the mall and clowned folks then went and grabbed some food...we bought some videos and we watched Beauty Shop and Hitch over the course of the weekend...i dont think she liked Hitch too much....she was like u can take that DVD with you...lol...my mo is a youner version of my grandma...fiestier even...i realize that i grow to be more like her everyday....when i was a teenager my bro used to clown me my saying "dang u just like your mama" but now i take that as a complete compliment...

my dad was chillin this weekend too although he stays busy...my mom and i went to this new church he plays organ for on sunday morning before heading to our church...he wanted us to hear the choir he directs sing....and since i had never been there he wanted to pretty much show his daughter off..lol...the choir sang nicely...my mom said when dad started there wre only 8 people in the choir well now there are about 18...im so proud of that man...i love me dad to pieces

that then there is my brother...i love him too....he really looks after his little sis...its funny to look back and talk about how we could not get along in high school we used to fight...im talkin swinging, punching just tryin our hardest to hurt each other...but now we have so much respect for each other and we are each others support systems...i really look up and admire him because he is my big bro..and i know that he will always be there to look out for me...and i will look out for him...he is looking for a new job and has a couple companies interested in him so he should know by the end of the week what position he is going to take where...i think my bro is incredibly talented and smart and will go far because he is humble and intelligent...

although i love and miss my family everytime i come i rememer why i left....its not a place i want to be...it was a great place to grow up..but now its not the place for me...i feel disconnected slightly when i come home...i dont call folks i used to hang with because we are so different now those friendships are only memories now it seems...me and the people i used to hang with dont have much to talk about anymore...sad but that is life....we have grown apart...and maybe its is all me...i just feel different..the things that used to interest me dont anymore and the places i used to hang out..well r not there or if they are im not really trying to go...it doesnt feel like home has grown....but i have...

on monday before i left my mom found out that she has diabetes..she figured she might but hearing it confirmed by the doctor made her break down...i hate seing my mother cry...it is the worse feeling in the world to see that woman break down...it really hurts my heart....i tried to talk to her...but im probably not the most comforting person in the world....but she sat for a minute and she felt better after a while...i told her im going to help her....however i can...my dad is daibetic so she knows a lot about the disease and the things she should and should not do..but she is just overwhelmed on top of her diagnosis another doctor told her she needs a complete knee replacement...and she said she just cannot do it right now....she is tired of the pain but i just dont think she is ready for more and she needs to take some time beofre agtreeing to it..i told her id be there for her and tell me when id take the days off and id be there with her at the hospital (and i detest hospitals) and at home...
i also told her she needs to start changing her eating habits..i started really small by throwing out her bottle of vegetable oil and telling her to go get some olive oil or canola oil...i almost threw out her white rice but she gave me a look so i let it go...but she will be eating brown rice soon if i have anything to do with it...im going to research diabetes...my dad is a pro and handling his disease and i hope he helps my mom, i know he will he has more willpower someties and can motivate her...i wish i had the money to just go out and buy all new groceries for their house...one day....i wish i lived closer so i could take care of her...i havnet given up the dream of one day buying them their dream house.....right near me...whever that will be...

it was a good weekend though...my family always makes me feel good....i just need that affection sometimes...their is so much value in just a small hug or kiss when u havent had one in a while....

NOVEMBER...

so i am pretty sure this is my 100th post since i started this blog last november....its been a year....i cant believe i kept it up this long...i thought i would flake out halfway through..but im glad im still going...thats cool, it feels good...i was thinking well what have i accomplished since the start of this blog...because sometimes it feels as if life has been at a stand still but other times it feels like i cant slow down enough to catch a breath....
so a quick run down:

got rid of some toxic people in my life
met someone although i have no clue where its going
went from just a reporter to a reporter/editor/designer
made a few new friends
really settled into living by myself - and liking it
became a lot more independent
got into a couple car accidents
got a new car
drove to atlanta by myself for the first time
reconnected with old friends
got a editing fellowship in reno and loved it
read some new books
bounced my first check(s)
almost learned how to budget
started mentoring
joined a couple professional associations
celebrated my 24th b-day...without my fam and friends
began eating better
started cooking
almost started exercising regularly
met some cool internet folks


i am looking back over my blog and over my last year...and im feeling restless again...i dont think i did as much as i wanted...i have been lazy...and i want to change that...starting with trying to find a new job....i love where i work but i know i cant stay here....the job search is working on my last nerves...but i havent given up...i cant give up...but im tired....i feel like i have so much more to do....and i am impatient because im ready to make moves but my time hasnt come yet...and as spontaneous as i think i am...i need stability and i need to be sure that im not jumping into things without thinking them out...i feel like i need a change in my life...i think i am still struggling with my purpose....feeling stagnate....not quite out of control but not really in total control....but im still here..this blog is still here and when things do happen for me ill chronicle all that too....

Homecoming...To the Good Life part duex

the fire marshal shut the party down at 1:30....1:30...DAMN....it was just starting to get crazy up in there and i hadnt even gotten a chance to dance much...D had just bought a bottle of Cris and a bottle of Grey Goose....it was good he didnt open them in the club....we all came to the consensus that we were going to meet over D's for an afterparty....

but oh so while me and pru were chillin we met justins crazy nephew Carlos...oh lawd....this man is a nut....and he hung out with me and pru half the night...he is so raw...straight form Detroit, as were most everyone in the room...my Michigan people, we always stick together...but the Detroit folks i had gone to school with had been in atlanta so long the edge was gone and they are slightly bougie...Carlos wasnt...lol...he had me laughin all night...and he decided that he wanted to ride to D's with me and pru....cept he cant keep his head out the window talkin bout folks who r on the street..i was like oh lawd my car is gonna get shot up cause this crazy fool...so we run downtown pick up tootie and her girl and ride out to D's.....

we get to D's and this fool carlos is still loud as hell....we are all loungin around the living room and i see D taking wine glasses back to his room....then he whispers to one of the boys...slowly one by one the boys in his inner cirle trail back to his room so i go over and holler at pru and the girls talkin about the night...when one of the guys comes out and tells me to come back to the room...i like aiight...i was curious as to why they were back there anyway...so i get back and D had opened the bottle of Cris and was pouring everyone a glass...it took me a min to realize i was the only chick in a room of about 8 guys..i also realized this was the crew...i was like oh damn, i guess i am part of the inner circle too...i was like an honorary homeboy...lol...but i had been with all these folks from freshman year and we had a bond, it was cool...then pru knocked on the door cause she was curious too...so they ushered her in, gave her a glass and D made a toast ...glasses clinked and down went the Cris..it might sound corny, but it was nice...real chill...

then Carlos enters...LMAO...crazy ass...sentimental mood over and its back to a party...until tootie comes in and wants to go home..guess she wasnt having good time...cool, ill take her home....so i get up to grab my shoes...and run into justin..literally...im 4'11 this dude is 6'6...i just about bounced off of him...he gives me a big hug...and i hug back...no words said...we have an understanding we r cool...i did open my mouth later and threaten him though real quick let him know that he cant get rid of me and next time we have issues we need to speak....so we r cool, still not the same but a little better....so carlos decided he wants to ride with me to take my girl and her friend back...thats cool...justin looked at me and was like is it aiight...i was like i can handle him he its cool....plus it was late it was probably a good idea to have a dude ride with us..even though he was drunk as hell....

so i take tootie back we hug...and me and carlos ride back to D's...of course he has to pee real bad made me stop at a closed gas station...dude peed on the pump!....it was crazy.....there are so many Carlos moments from the night but i would never finish this if i wrote them all....

got back to D's and folks were leaving...i was like i always miss the good stuff...lol..i went back to D's room and he was passed out on his bed and pru was sitting next to him so of course my behind crawls onto the bed too...me pru, D's bro and another guy friend were up til 7 in the morn just talkin...every so aften D would start snoring loud so we would turn him and keep talking.....

finally me and pru go home...get in the bed...no washing make up off or nuthin and crash...my first good sleep since thursday night....it is now sunday morning....i think i had 2 hours sleep within that time period....but we sleep til 2..i get a couple calls from D but i was knocked out....so i hollered back at him, him and some of the crew were at Jock and JIlls a sports bar in Cobb Galleria...so pru and i ate leftovers from lunch the day before along with our cheesecake that we bought and couldnt even eat, got dressed and rode out to the sports bar....it was a nice sunday..my last day in atlanta....we stayed at the bar until about 8 pm just talking about the weekend and business, life, jobs, etc...D followed me and pru to her place and the 3 of us chilled there for a few hours..then he left...

the next morning i got up and drove home...got a text message from justin to call when i made it in..yeah we r back tight....also got calls from pru, D, my mama and drea....Carlos called and said hit him up if im ever in detroit anytime soon...i was like how did he get my number...but its all love...i thought justin gave it to him but then i realized that he had my phone for a nice amount of time on saturday he probably called himself.....

but it was a great weekend...and this is the abridged edition...i know right.....i ended up losing my voice and it is just now getting back in order...went down to homecoming...and i never made it home (spelman)...oh well maybe next year...

Homecoming...To the Good Life...

its been a week and some change since i made my trip down to atlanta for Spelman/Morehouse homecoming...it was my first time driving more than 5 hours by myself..it was an 8 hour trip and it went very smoothly...the mountains in tennessee were lovely i actually had to make myself slow down cause it was fun taking the turns speeding down the mountains...
i was supposed to meet up with my 3 best friends and we were going to have a weekend full of fun but my best friend in NY couldnt come down because plane tickets were crucial...so it was just me pru and tootie...
so i got to atlanta around 7ish and made it to my pru's apartment...i was so happy to be back in my town...it felt so much like home...i swear my energy was renewed once i got into the city...not that that was a problem anyway considering i had 2 drinks from starbucks, a coke and a took a couple excedrin (they have caffeine) on the trip down...and i never have that much caffeine in my system...

so i get to pru's spot and we run out to target to grab a few things and then we come back to her place shower, get dressed, stop by the ATM then drive downtown to pick up tootie at the hotel where she was staying....and we roll out to Visions..i hadnt been to Visions since our senior year black and white affair and they had totally gutted the place out and remodeled it, it was cool because now there were more dance floors...on the way to the club i had been texting my boy rico, he is like a big bro to me, and he was meeting us there with his brother....so we get in the place and head straight to the bathroom....why do we always head straight to the bathroom?...dunno...but we scoped the place out and found rico...i love that man he is such a good guy, he has always been the homie and has always looked out for me, and i met his younger bro who is a little cutie too....rico hooked me and tootie up with a hen and cran and then split, lol...said he had some dancing to do...cool...me and the girls made our way to one of the other dance floors and worked it out...ended up running into an old classmate...she was a little XTRA huggy...but it was cool we exchanged info and kept on dancing....ended up dancing all night in stiletos...my feet were numb and my thighs were burning by the time we left.....it was great...lol...

on the way to droppin tootie back off i got a call from my boy derek, said he was driving in from work (he lives 2 hours away and works nights) told me and pru to meet him at his place....i was like cool, i havent seen him in 2 years and i was still wide awake (and im a sleeper so that is highly unusual) but i told pru 'girl we r only going to be there for 30 min'...she like cool...so we ended up getting to his place a couple minutes before he did...he pulled up and got out the car me and pru were like no thats not D...cant be...that dude is kinda hot...but then this negro ran to the darn car and pretty much came through the window giving us hugs....same ol D....so we went up to his place and went through some photo albums and then got a tour of the place ending up in D's room.....me and pru jumped on the bed and D turned on a movie...30 min turned into 2 hours which turned into 10 am...LMAO...we stayed there all night...talkin and chilllin watchin videos...both of them dozed off a little but i was still wired so i just watched some more tv...

so it is now saturday morning and me and pru head back to her apartment....we are suposed to be meeting up with folks at the tailgate.....mmmhmmmm, well plans dont always work like that....right when we were going to leave the phone company called and we had to wait for the guy to get there to do something to pru's phone....and we still hadnt eaten i had a sandwich around noon on friday and here its is 1 pm on saturday and i still have not slept or ate anything...so me and pru had to run back to target after the phone guy left then we ran to DSW then we fianlly got sumthin to eat at Cheesecake Factory...now its after 3 and tailgate started at noon and the game started at 2...and me and pru are like ummmmm....its nap time...so we went back to her place and went to sleep...we slept for a good 2 hours when my phone rang....and we both woke up....we chilled around the house for a sec and talked then it was time to get ready to go out again....some guys i went to school with were throwing a 'young alumni' party at this club in midtown called Cherry..and we were gong to be there...lol...and we made it there by 11 and we got in free..so we were feelin that....my boy D had been keeping up with us through the day and we were meeting him there....i knew my boy justin was going to be there...we hadnt spoke in about 8 months...and when we saw each other things were kinda tense...i was perturbed at him and he was probably pissed at me...anyway this negro decides to give me a handshake...DA HELL...i mean me and him have been through a lot, we were homies and i get a handshake..so that pissed me off more...

i turned and walked away...i was on the balcony cause it was hot inside with all the people and i was on drink number 2...i needed some air....just so happens D calls me while im on the balcony, tells me and pru to stay there he is coming up...he gets there grabs my hand and leads me and pru back inside..i was like cool D is buying some drinks....but we passed the bar so i was like umm okay where are we going...turns out D and justin and the crew had the VIP room on lock as soon as me and pru get in there it is like a reunion ..i see quite a few of my boys and they were all doing big things...and so it was real chill sat around talking...this one dude with stank breath was trying real hard to get some...ummm NO....he even said some lame line about licking me from my neck to my kneecaps...i laughed...i was like please (insert eye roll here)....and went on to chill with some other folks...oh did i mention i made a drunk dial call to my man friend when i went to the bathroom...yeah....dont remember that convo...HA