Weekend trip home...

i went home this weekend to see my family...my grandma celebrated her 86th birthday and we had a little party for her...i love my grandma, she is so fiesty with such a quick wit...and a deep faith and spiritual base...i love her so much...she is so strong and vibrant...even when she is not feeling well she has this sparkle in her eyes that lets u konw she is still right there with you...so Happy 86th Grandma...

my mom and i went to the mall and clowned folks then went and grabbed some food...we bought some videos and we watched Beauty Shop and Hitch over the course of the weekend...i dont think she liked Hitch too much....she was like u can take that DVD with you...lol...my mo is a youner version of my grandma...fiestier even...i realize that i grow to be more like her everyday....when i was a teenager my bro used to clown me my saying "dang u just like your mama" but now i take that as a complete compliment...

my dad was chillin this weekend too although he stays busy...my mom and i went to this new church he plays organ for on sunday morning before heading to our church...he wanted us to hear the choir he directs sing....and since i had never been there he wanted to pretty much show his daughter off..lol...the choir sang nicely...my mom said when dad started there wre only 8 people in the choir well now there are about 18...im so proud of that man...i love me dad to pieces

that then there is my brother...i love him too....he really looks after his little sis...its funny to look back and talk about how we could not get along in high school we used to fight...im talkin swinging, punching just tryin our hardest to hurt each other...but now we have so much respect for each other and we are each others support systems...i really look up and admire him because he is my big bro..and i know that he will always be there to look out for me...and i will look out for him...he is looking for a new job and has a couple companies interested in him so he should know by the end of the week what position he is going to take where...i think my bro is incredibly talented and smart and will go far because he is humble and intelligent...

although i love and miss my family everytime i come i rememer why i left....its not a place i want to be...it was a great place to grow up..but now its not the place for me...i feel disconnected slightly when i come home...i dont call folks i used to hang with because we are so different now those friendships are only memories now it seems...me and the people i used to hang with dont have much to talk about anymore...sad but that is life....we have grown apart...and maybe its is all me...i just feel different..the things that used to interest me dont anymore and the places i used to hang out..well r not there or if they are im not really trying to go...it doesnt feel like home has grown....but i have...

on monday before i left my mom found out that she has diabetes..she figured she might but hearing it confirmed by the doctor made her break down...i hate seing my mother cry...it is the worse feeling in the world to see that woman break down...it really hurts my heart....i tried to talk to her...but im probably not the most comforting person in the world....but she sat for a minute and she felt better after a while...i told her im going to help her....however i can...my dad is daibetic so she knows a lot about the disease and the things she should and should not do..but she is just overwhelmed on top of her diagnosis another doctor told her she needs a complete knee replacement...and she said she just cannot do it right now....she is tired of the pain but i just dont think she is ready for more and she needs to take some time beofre agtreeing to it..i told her id be there for her and tell me when id take the days off and id be there with her at the hospital (and i detest hospitals) and at home...
i also told her she needs to start changing her eating habits..i started really small by throwing out her bottle of vegetable oil and telling her to go get some olive oil or canola oil...i almost threw out her white rice but she gave me a look so i let it go...but she will be eating brown rice soon if i have anything to do with it...im going to research diabetes...my dad is a pro and handling his disease and i hope he helps my mom, i know he will he has more willpower someties and can motivate her...i wish i had the money to just go out and buy all new groceries for their house...one day....i wish i lived closer so i could take care of her...i havnet given up the dream of one day buying them their dream house.....right near me...whever that will be...

it was a good weekend though...my family always makes me feel good....i just need that affection sometimes...their is so much value in just a small hug or kiss when u havent had one in a while....