Rest in Peace

Coretta Scott King
April 27, 1927 - Jan. 30, 2006

it never rains in southern california

spel is moving....i got the job i flew out to california to interview for...i didnt think i had gotten the job because it had been a week and i hadnt heard anything...this normally wouldnt perplex me except the man said he would call me the sunday after my interview so i was thinking okay he will call monday or tuesday...but a whole week went by and nada....i planned a trip to atlanta to hang out and my plane left friday afternoon....so im sitting on the plane before we take off and my phone rings it was dude....he was like "spel, i want you to work for me"...so i am going to be a copy editor for a paper in southern cali...

i get to live here




so i found out last night my start date is feb 20....that gives me 3 weeks to find and apartment, get my stuff moved and get myself down there..i can do it...im so excited ive been ready to get out of indy..and with this new boss stressing me out it couldnt have come at a better time...

i am a ball of nerves right now...but i have such a good support system i know i can manage....i need a new start...i am just sad it is taking me further away from the people i love....

Uncle Jr.

my uncle died over the weekend....

my grandma had 8 children..her first born died at an early age....and now my uncle....the second to last child and the oldest boy child....he is in line after my mother (the youngest girl) and right before my uncle carl (the baby)...

he was diabetic and i guess his sugar got to low...

its funny i just saw him at christmas....

we took pictures...

he was the quiet one on my mom's side...the only one who was quiet...my family is not known for holding their tongues or for using their indoor voices....but uncle jr was not loud...very soft spoken...

on holidays the fam would split up...men downstairs in front of the game and the women upstairs pouring from the kitchen to the living room.....the men would talk about the game, leaping, lunging and yelling at the tv, as if it made an impact on the team...uncle jr would smile and nod...i think just content to be around family...

i didnt know my uncle as well as i wish i did...all those times we would hug as a greeting and not much more...

my mom said that he changed after he came back from vietnam, thats when he became so quiet...i wonder what he thought about...

i asked my mom this morning how my grandma was holding up...she is 85...mom said grandma is good, she has shed some tears but is holding on...she said grandma had a dream and she knew before it happened...my grandma has always had these dreams...my mom said what a burden to know when death is coming....

so to uncle jr. i will miss your calm...your quietness...

i love you....

Yummy!

mmmmmm jamie......

da hell?

sooo.....

i was having a chat with "dude i used to deal with," why, i dont know....

i remember writing a few months ago that i have gotten over his deception..and have moved on...i dont feel hurt or betrayed anymore..he is basically what i just wrote, a dude i USED to deal with...i harbor no hard feeling or ill will toward the man (anymore), i have forgiven him..i am not his friend and he is not mine...but we r cool...as associates...

we catch up every now in again, mostly him making the effort and since i dont really feel the need...

so we were having a conversation while i was driving to the book store (my parents sent me a Barnes and Nobles gift card, gotta love that!)

he asked me how i was doing and i told him im great, i feel good, im happy.....and he said oh you must have a new man in your life.....im thinking da hell?...i shake my head and chuckle to myself...i say no actually i dont, my career seems to be moving along nicely and i feel satisfied with life...

two days pass..and i was driving to work and i replayed the convo..and i got mad...i notice i have some type of anger delay...when things are said or done to me i am chill, i dont pop off at the mouth, then after i analyze it the angers flows to the surface....a lot of times this is not a good thing because my anger is not recognized by the other person so they dont realize they have offended me or why i am standoffish until days later when i finally let it out.....but i think im usually so laid back and non-chalant things just dont click with me right away....

but i started thinking...does he REALLY, HONESTLY believe, especially after all the time he spent with me, that i need a man in my life to feel fulfilled?
did i ever give him that vibe?? i hope not..
what type of chicks does he deal with, i know his ex was a little nutty when they broke up

but forget her..this is me...he must have me confused with that other chick he was getting preggo while he still had the key to my place...

i mean i was just blown away..its like he has to equate happiness with having someone to rub up on....

i dont need that...do i like having a man aroaund...well yes...but do i need a man around...no....im so fixated on my life right now i am not worried about a man...

i am happy because i chooses to be happy, i choose to make moves, i choose to challenge myself and to surround myself with people who are in my corner...i am happy because i am lovin myself more and more everyday....

i was like okay this dude *insert poo-poo face here*...thats y i took his name out my phone and limit contact with him...he is toxic...

and what is sad is that there are women (and men) who really subscribe to the notion that their happiness is found in someone else...WOW...you know those people are not living a full life..there is so much more to life than that...

like the 5 books i bought with my gift card...
like the job interview that i have tomorrow...
like the new suit i bought over the weekend..
the flowers i plan on surprising myself with (lol)...
the bath i took last week that was soo relaxing...
the sunday dinner i shared with friends....
the candles i just bought....ON SALE!!


the walks i have yet to take...
the writing i have yet to do...
the places i have yet to visit.....
the foods i have yet to discover....
the smiles i have yet to produce...

see what happens when i dont have any work

im sitting here at work bored out of my mind......there should be a law that states, if work is as slow as it is today people should have to go home, marinate on their couches, zone out in front of the tv and not move unless it is to use the bathroom or go to the kitchen....

and if u r as skilled as i am....u would run to the kitchen, take whatever u are eating to the bathroom and knock out two birds with one stone....HA!

im here and i have no work to do and i am scheduled to be here until 7ish...although 6:30 sounds like a good time to hit the road.....i just ran out and grabbed a caramel macchiato and a heath bar....so im set....

i decided i would divulge a secret about myself that only few now.....ready.....ok

i am a product junkie and a drugstore whore.....((whew!))....i finally said it outloud....(kinda).....i can exhale again...its just that im addicted to face and body products....a friend once said commercials were made just for me...if they make a commerical for it, i have probably tried it, and probably still own it...

one day i had people over for dinner and i forgot to close my medicine cabinet all the way....my girl came out of my bathroom and was like "dang girl, you sure do have a lot of face products!" *blush*

yes my medicine cabinet is full of face products, if u look in the cabinets under my sink u will find all types of bubble bath, shower gels and a few cleaning supplies....((i am also OC when it comes to cleaning my toilet (but thats a whole 'nother entry))

and if you were to look in my linen closet you would find a big plastic container full of products that cannot fit in my bathroom....

okay so..what did i do......i compiled a picture blog of my favorite products.....why??...because im sitting here at work with nothing better to do....

ready...ok....here goes....


pore unclogging scrub...great stufff....


whats pore unclogging scrub without the triple action astringent....i love biore's whole line...


i dont know how popular Basis products are...but this foaming cleanser is wonderful for removing make up...its also good if you have very sensitive skin..my old dermatologist reccomended this when i was an acne-prone teenager, and i still keep a couple bottles in the cabinet....


please run out to Bath and Body Works and pick this up.....i LUVE this stuff....the eucalyptus/spearmint smell is lovely and i swear your skin will feel so soft after you wash it off....


its winter time.....please run out a grab a couple of these....moiturize the skin...no one wants to be in the bed with some cracked and caked up person scratchin them up...its thick though so a little goes a long way...great for feet...


now, u have to go to your nearest mary kay consultant for this...and its a good $56..but its worth it...your face will feel soooooooooooo soft.....i promise you will be glowing...


if you dont want to shell out $56 on mary kay's microdermabrasion kit then hit this up for $12 bucks at K-Mart...its really nice too..its more of a mask so leave it on for a good 10 minutes but your skin will feel nice and refreshed after u wash it off...


i like this...its smells really good...if u have a back brush squirt some on that and go to town on your back...then find someone to lotion your back up afterwards...


this is a creamy st ives apricot scrub..not grainy like the original stuff...although i love this whole line...st ives has some great stuff...


good ol fashioned vasoline....cant do without it...i even keep a small jar on my desk at work...great for everything....my mama let me know a long time ago not to share your jar of vasoline with anyone...you just dont know what they use their's for....i wont go into detail...but...naw i just wont go there...


if you dont feel like rubbing the baby oil gel in...it can get tedious sometimes...try this its nice and thick too...


u have to love Paul Mitchell....and this tea tree line.....its an orgasm in a bottle (i should be in advertising right...HA!)...


before you dress.....caress...men, its aiight to use this too...i have a guy friend who loves caress....the light scent wont interfere with your cologne....


i buy two tubes of this at a time...i just like the way it foams in my mouth....


i guess that is all for the moment.....i do have plenty more products...i might post them later...and i hope you noticed u can find most these items at wal-mart, k-mart, walgreens, CVS, rite-aid, etc...im a chick on a budget....i cant hit the Clinique counter like i used to....