Hola

Happy June!
Hope everyone is well. It's been quite a while since i have gotten on here and shared my life. I guess I've just been a little lazy lately with the blogging...I think I may have needed a little time out...not that i am the most regular blogger in the world in the first place but...well, you know...i did miss blogging though...i was so used to gathering up a few thoughts and sharing...

but lets see..in the last few weeks...Ely and I went to michigan to see my family...that was a fun trip, i was a little nervous at first because he had never met my parents..only talked to my mom on the phone a few times...but we have been together more than 2 years, it was past time to make that trip..i still have to visit his folks but we spent so much money on the michigan trip...thats going to have to be put on hold for a few months...the time at home was nice though...he got to see where i grew up and the places i worked in high school and the places i used to hang out at during summers home in college...

of course he had to stay at my big bro's house... my mama aint have that, lol...but it was cool, they had already met about a year ago so they were cool...we really didnt do much, just relax and chill with my family...my mom LOVES him...my dad..well, he likes him and thats as much as you are going to get from my dad....

while we were in michigan we had to break the news to my dad that we were living together...that was an interesting night...full of emotion..i think we all cried at one point...but it was good...my parents finally started seeing me as more than just their little girl...i have never had an experience like that...but they saw that we were serious about our relationship and are committed to each other...my mom is trying to start planning now...ive had to tell her a few times to calm down...we will work that out when the time is right...i am happy right now, our relationship is beautiful and i dont believe in rushing to get married just because we have chosen to live together...

other than that life has been pretty uneventful...TRYING to save money...which doesnt seem to happen as often as i would like...there is always some bill popping up...sometimes i just dont know what to do...but i try my hardest not to stress about money...my bills are paid, my car had gas and i am employed...i have a lot more going for me that a lot of people...to i am learning to appreciate what i have and thank God for all his blessings...speaking of God, i am really happy we found the church we have been attending for a few months...i learn something new every week...im growing...i just have to be patient with myself...

i know i have a lot more to so spill but i cant seem to get it together right now...i should write down my thoughts and feelings daily...and i do A LOT of thinking...sometimes i get so inside my head i have to make myself stop...i have to make myself to engage in conversation so folks dont think something is wrong with me...

on a lighter note...i got a hair cut..its a cute bob..ill have to post a photo as soon as i get my camera working...i really am loving it...its very summery...

How is life treating you fellow bloggers? Has Hunnie had the baby yet? Is the economy hitting ya'll hard? How is the weather, lol?

I'll be back soon...i think my blog break is over...

the return of sable...

I took a trip to my other blog - the one kept somewhat secret and i havent posted anything on it in probably more than a year - but it was nice just looking back and seeing how far ive come....i believe i started the blog in 2005 when i was still in indiana and it looks like i stopped posting a little while after i met Ely...

it was crazy reading about some of my past relationships...with so much detail...im not sure if i ever put that much detail in this blog, but im wondeirng if i should start..it was so refreshing just seeing all the emotions and thoughts i went through to end up in the place i am now...i talk about how this one guy went and got this girl preggers while we were still dealing with each other...and then come wanting sympathy and a shoulder to cry on (ooh, and tried to get in my pants) when she went and had an abortion without telling him...sad situation, but i am not the one...

i talk about my wonderful relationship with this guy that just taught me so much about loving myself and how a man is supposed to treat a woman (if you are reading this, Thank you, you know who you are, im not going to put ya business in the street :))...and even though we had to part ways after a year and some change it was such a great experience and i value all the good times and the pain...

man i read about the ups and downs and pain i went through with my college ex...if he only knew half of the shyt i kept from him, i dont think we would be cool at all...and another ex who wanted to marry me, and how i wasnt ready for all that then, and the struggle with having to deal with that...

i fell in lust with this other wonderful man, who, til this day i have never met face to face...but the friendship we forged is 100% real and he also helped me grow...that was/is a magical relationship...im glad he is in my life, even if we dont talk regularly...

and its so funny reading about Ely and how i didnt think it was going to go anywhere at first, i knew he was feeing me but wasnt sure if i was ready to enter into a relationship...two and a half years later we are still going strong...

and, know it wasnt even all about men..i talked about job uncertainties, partying, my mother and how much i adore her..and even saw pieces of a story i started and never finished, i just may start adding to it...it was crazy just reading how much life really affects me...i gloss over a lot when i talk about my past...but i have two years of my life detailed in this blog...my guts, my thoughts, my contradictions are all over the place...i think i need to bring that back..not be so afraid to show that world...thats why i started that blog because i was scared to put myself out there on this blog plus i didnt want to hurt anyones feelings who knew about this blog, cause i tear some folks up...but i think im good now...i dont think i need a "secret" blog anymore...

i wish i had started blogging in college...man, that would have been something to look back on...i was CRAZY in college...so full of bullshyt and insecurities...hiding all of my fears with a slick tongue and sex appeal...not being real with myself ended up hurting me the most...i just want to go back and hug that little girl...tell her to stop frontin..

but i am so happy with life right now...i really dont think i have much to write about at the moment but i like to talk about myself too much to stop blogging...i should post the beginning of the story i stopped working on...i guess i really just admired the way a spilled my guts to the limited few who had access to that blog...and i really appreciate them having my back and not judging my experiences...and i appreciate the experiences for molding and shaping the woman i am growing into...

growing in all directions...

I keep telling myself im going to post more on my blog...i used to post at least twice a week...i will continue to work on it...

i went bowling on sunday for the first time in about four years...and i cant bowl at all, but its was fun just hanging out, goofing off and laughing...i think my highest game was like a 77...yeah...HA!...funny how the more wine i drank the better i got...we bowled with one of eli's (i think this is the first time i used his name on this blog)clients, she also does my hair from time to time and is the one that invited us to church...she calls us her kids...its nice to have a mother figure around....but they made a side bet that if he didnt break 100 during the last game the next training session he would have to do all the working out instead of her...he lost...lol...she was already plotting on how she was going to have him running and doing a bunch of push ups...i had to tell her that doing all that won't phase him, that's less than his daily workout...

sunday was a good day though...we got up and went to church, to the mall and out to eat...eli bought us matching all white air force ones...we were joking that in michigan, we call them "ones" and in milwaukee, where he's from, they call them dookies"...i have no clue how folks nickname an all white shoe "dookie"...but anyway, it was cute...we wore them to the bowling alley...

church has been really good for us...we always leave thinking about what was said and talking about how it applies to our life..its allowing us to have a different kind of conversation and strengthening our relationship...

life is so simple right now...and thats not a bad things at all...
there was a post on my messageboard asking folks if they could go back in time and change something they regret doing without it effecting their future, would they would do it...
my first thought was i dont regret anything...but after thinking about it for awhile, i realize thats not true...but i dont think i regret anything enough to go back and change anything...i realize a lot of the things i regret are things i did to myself, that affected my body and my mind...and while that was all painful to work through, i needed to learn those lessons...i made it harder on myself, but i learned...now the question says that erasing past deeds will not affect the future but then how else would i have learned those lessons? how could i be the person i am if i erased those situations and experiences? growing pains are an essential part of life...

antway, how is everyone? anything new, interesting or exciting?

catfish and kool-aid

a couple days ago i really had something to blog about...but i didnt write it down so now im just typing jibberish..

so my puppy is too smart for his own good..actually i should say my puppy is too greedy for his own good...or maybe ill just say, my puppy is bad as hell...

i left my cell phone on the kitchen counter the other night because i didnt feel like carrying it...there was also a to-go box of food on the counter...yeah do you see where this is going...

well, marcus was able to swipe down my cell phone cause the food was a little too far away...and he decided my phone was good enough to chew on...sooo, i ended up having to get a new phone, but i had to wait for sprint to order a new one and my old one was out of commission...

those two days without a phone made me realize how much i depend on it..and its not that i even talk on the phone that much..but i now i see how much i use it for other things...texting, sudoku, i write notes to myself constantly because im always forgetting something, i am always setting the reminder on my calendar...but all is well, i got my new phone and bought a new plastic case for it...and i now that i know he can jump and get stuff down i wont be leaving my phone lying around anymore...lesson learned...

i had some time off work and one of my best friends came out to visit...we had such a good time...myra and i have been friends since 6th grade...it was so good to kick it with her...mostly we just went shopping...we went out and got mani/pedis and i took her to a couple of my fav places to eat...myra, my friend marie, my boyfriend and i went to salsa night at one of the casinos...and then sat around talking and nursing our drinks that we didnt even dance...i wont even comment on the high card/low card games...lets just say i wont be drinking vodka anytime soon...

myra and my boyfriend clicked really well and myra and marie seemed like instant sisters...

i once told marie that if i were able to get my close girlfriends in one place for at least a weekend, i have no doubt everyone would get along...i think the core values all my friends have in common are loyalty, logic and a very strick moral compass...and well they all seem to love my crazy ass for some reason....sooo ladies...when can we get together?

life is pretty good right now despite the dragging economy...my sweetie has been doing some networking for his personal training business and we are just enjoying each other and planning for the future...
we dont have much but we are happy with what we have and we both know there is more in store...we have family, health and each other...we have started going back to church..all though its been a slow process, we keep waking up late, but we are determined...

we saw madea goes the jail the other week...that was a cute movie..but...i think they spent so much time setting up the plot once it got it its climax it kinda zoomed to the finish...and once you saw the credits rolling i started feeling like i missed something...

oh and i must pat myself on the back...i made the best fried catfish the other day...my sweetie and i started this "tradition" that every first monday in the month is fried catfish monday...we usually have catfish filets or nuggets and rotate different side dishes every month...so since my girl was here i made enough for us and invited over marie and shabazz...i hooked it up with greens, mac and cheese (it was perfect, extra cheesy on the inside with that baked crust on the outside) and cornbread...yes,its friday and im still patting myself on the back...it was amazing...we all pigged out...

i hope everyone is doing well in blog land...Hunnie you have the cutest baby belly i have ever seen! i cant wait until you pop out booter! im sure you cant either, lol

im drinking hot tea

the title is dedicated too shabazz, lol...we have had a couple interesting convos the past week, lol

So i told my mom my huny and i are living together..she took it pretty well...even though she managed to get in "shackin up," living in sin," and "playing house" all in one phone converstation...i understand she just wants to make sure that he was contributing financially...after that issues with my old roomie i see my mama is just looking out for me...i keep telling her, mama his is a good guy, he has his shyt together, no need to worry...she was like i cant wait to see your dads face when yall tell him...mmmm, thats going to be interesting...since my dad still thinks im 12...

i mailed some picks home of my trip to atlanta for homecoming and the trip to vegas and my dad said that my shirt was a little low...i had a on a beater...thats not low...but i suppose thats the price you pay for being a daddy's girl...you never get to grow up...i want to ask my mom "doesnt dad know im closer to 30 than i am to 20?"...but i didnt i mean really whats the point...i understand..im the baby girl...but it can get irritating..anyone else have this experience?

anyway my mom is so excited about our trip home...its not until the end of april..we havent even got tickets yet...but she has been waiting for more than two years to meet him...its kinda cute...she has been telling her church friends about meeting him and they keep telling her he is coming home to "properly ask my father for permission to marry me."..umm no, lol...its just WAY past time for them to meet...my parents dont have the money to get out here and plus they dont like to fly and i barely get home more than once a year myself...so this is going to be a nice trip...of course he has to stay at my brothers house...my parents are real old school...besides i no longer have a room at my parents house anway...my bed is the couch...

we took the dogs hiking the other day..it was so fun...marcus and lily and a great time running around and sniffing everything...they didnt want to get back on their leashes...the hike wore them out, they slept most of the rest of the day...which is a good thing cause marcus has learned how to get things off the counter...he helped himself to some guacamole the other night when we were gone...

anyway life is good...pretty simple..but wonderful...my family is good, friends are doing great..although i miss them...andrea being in new york and pru and tootie in atlanta...way too far from me...but i have marie here to hold me down and my huny as we continue to grow closer and make future plans...

ive been thinking about a lot of people i used to deal with lately...old roomie, a couple ex's...i realize how much i want them to be happy...even if i dont talk to them often or not at all..ive been feeling the need to reach out more...mend relationships...at the same time i feel good letting the past be the past...ive moved on...so im really not sure what these feelings mean...or what i should do with them...but a part of me knows i just shouldnt sit on them..be proactive somehow...

we decided to have a bbq in a couple weeks..it should be fun...for all yall east coast people..its be in the 80s here the past week..nice huh? i dont have much money but i love having people over and cooking...it will all work out...folks need to fellowship more often...im going to try and get a spades table rockin along with a couple other games...and i have a feeling the shot glasses will be coming out...if yall are in the neighborhood feel free to stop by and kick it!

Today was a WONDERFUL day!

-Reuters

I woke up early this morning, made a huge cup of coffee and got comfy on the couch to see my president sworn in...it was beautiful...surreal...we have come a long way and we are truly blessed...my president has to get down to business tomorrow morning...but for today...lets just smile...and dance...cheers

Just a little Christmas story...

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year...

I was talking with my mother over the holidays and she was giving me more details into my adoption...its kinda facinating..well it is for me because i thought i knew everything but i guess now that im older my mom is a bit more free with the information...or maybe now that im older im more interested in talking about it...

my mom calls me her Christmas present because she got me right before Christmas when i was 5 months old...what i didnt know is that it may not have happened...timing is everything...

in 1976, after 2 or 3 miscarriages my mom gave birth to a baby boy...she says he had her facial features and my dads long limbs...he also had an enlarged heart and he died in the hospital when he was only a few months old...

i was telling my mom that i cant even begin to identify the pain her and my father went through...and she said for some couples an experience like that could tear them apart but for her and my dad it brought them closer..they realized how much they needed to lean on each other...

a few years later they decided to adopt and were looking into adopting a little girl...my brother was born in 1979 and when he was around nine months old the agency told them about him and they immediately said "give him to us," lol...they named him alex...and to this day they adore the mess out of him...shooot, i do too...

so after they got him in 1980 they had to wait a year before they were able to adopt again...i was born in july, before the year was up and the woman at the agency couldnt even tell them about me until the year was complete...luckily, i wasnt adopted by another family during that time...in december 1981 the agency called my mother and said "we have a little girl for you, she is 5 months"...my mom told her "i'll will be there in the morning" the woman called back and said "umm, you should prbably bring your husband too!"

...they brought half the family...and i came home with them...right before Christmas...when God has a plan in mind, its always turns out right...my family is close...and we all look alike...my bro looks like my mom and i look more like my dad..no one every believes we arent blood...

ya'll go hug your families as this new year starts...send a prayer up to God thanking him for life and love...and if you are beefin with cousins or brothers and sisters...reach out to them...they need you...and you need them...family is a blessing...i realize that more and more every year since im out here in california and everyone else is in michigan...i hate missing out on birthdays and holiday get-togethers..but this is my path, i chose it...but i know as long as i carry my family in my heart they are never far from me...

Happy New Year!

Have a wonderful Christmas!

Ive been tagged

Hunnie tagged me! I love theses things!

A.)Pass this on to 7 people:

Hunnie passed it to the other 2 folks i was goin gto pass it too..small world, lol...

Eb

Jenelly

Lola

Lyre

Ms. Tee (Green Eyez

B.)Answer the following questions using only one word.

where is your cell phone? purse

where is your significant other? home

your hair color? black

your mother? michigan

your father? with my mother

your favorite thing? toilet

your dream last night? many

your dream/goal? success

the room you're in? newsroom

your hobby? reading

your fear? God

where do you want to be in 6 years? L.A.

where were you last night? home

what you're not? boring

one of your wish list items? clothes

where you grew up? michigan

the last thing you did? type

what are you wearing? shirts

your tv? on

your pet? lazy

your computer? busy

your mood? eager

missing someone? no

your car? pretty

something you're not wearing? hat

favorite store? grocery

your summer? healthy

love someone? crazily

your favorite color? purple

when is the last time you laughed? today

last time you cried? october?

are you a b*tch? never

favorite position? when?

favorite past time? lounging

are you a hater or a lover? LOVER

are you genuine or fake? guess...

any vices? yup

pro life or wire hanger? do you

mccain or obama? Obama!!!

pro plastic or natural? natural

dream job? mom

Whew..

made it through the layoffs at work...15 people at my paper were left without jobs today...it was supposed to be 30 people...pure craziness...ive never been through anything like this before...and although i stil have my job..i still dont feel secure...the entire company is getting hit hard...throughout the company they are laying off more than 800 people...and right before the holidays...i really dont even have any words...but thank God i still have a job...i have bills up the butt that have to get paid...

other than that life is chill...ran outside the other day..it felt so good..until today, now im so sore..i run harder outside than i do on the treadmill..but it felt so good...the weather was perfect and i has T.I. in my ears...but im hurting right now...i gotta go bakc out tomorrow so my body can get used to the pavement...and i need to stretch better...my thighs are killin me...

i had all types of things to blog about a few days ago but now that im sitting at the computer i cant remember anything..that ever happen to you?

i realize i do some of my best thinking in the shower..the other day i was thinking about some future endeavors..and i realize i miss volunteering..i used to volunteer with the ladies at church, they held workshops for girls ages 11-15ish...every other saturday morning i would go and help with activities and get to know the girls...a mentoring program really...i didnt do as much as i now wish i did..it only takes one person to make an impact on someones life...i was thinking i would love to start a program like that one day for middle school and high school age girls...i really think that is the age you have to uplift them and teach self-esteem and answer all those questions a lot of girls that age are too afraid to really talk about...i would love to mentor and hold outings and create some kind of environment where girls feel safe and secure and learn...

i was thinking about my own past..i have stories to tell..especially about self-esteem and finding yourself and loving yourself...i would love to teach some of the lessons i had to learn...although i do realize some things you just have to go through...but if i can prevent someone from making a few of my mistakes...thats enough, thats worthwhile...so thats a goal...maybe when i move to L.A. in a couple years...if that still is even the plan by then...im not in a place now where i can really do that since i work nights...but hopefully one day...

dont worry...im still around...lol

ive been chillin lately...making lists...planning for the future...and doing a little traveling...

My guy and i have been really thinking about our future and what steps we need to take to get to where we want to be...top of our list is going back to church...we have both been slacking aand both out mamas would not like that fact that we havent been as dedicated as we need to be...i LOVED my church in indiana...and i need to find a good church home here...ill have to ask the ladies at the beauty shop what church they go to...our list actually got pretty long...i feel that we are focused and are both going in the same directiona dn have similar goals...im further along on some of them than he is and he hasme beat in a few areas...but we are ready to help each other and make it work...we have many short-term and long-term goals to reach..im really excited about life and just living each day and enjoying my friends and family...

i also made my own list of things i need to to for myself...i pulled out my old journal and just got to writing..it felt so good and when i got done i felt a lot better..like i made a path for myself...i think thats why i was so down a few weeks ago...life felt foggy...i felt like i was stuck...but now i feel more directed...

now on to my trips...





so i went to atlanta at the end of october and met up with my college girlfriends...it was soo much fun...i hadnt seen my girls in about 2 years and all 4 of us hadnt been all together in about 5 years...i love them so much..those ladies are so full of grace and style and just love life...two of my girls had some problems come up over the weekend but they handled business..didnt let the issues get them down too much...i was honord that i was there to be with them and talk with them during their brief down time...it was like we were back in the dorms...but well, we are grown now...the things we talk ab out and go through are not as petty as back in the day...

we hit up a couple parties, went to tailgate and went back on campus to see how our old home has changed...it was soo beautiful...we ran into a few of our other friends and just reminiced and enjoyed campus again....

my sweetie and i just got back from a weekend in vegas...that was soo much fun...we celebrated our two year anniversary by eating, drinking and walking the vegas strip...we really have so much fun together...we just kicked it and did whatever we wanted until it was time to go home...ill throw some photos of our trip up later...i tried to gamble but i really hate losing money so that didnt work out to well..after losing about 20 dollars on the slot machines i was done...we walked aroundt he malls and just windows shopped for the majority of the trip...but thats something we like to do together...its not about spending money but just looking at different styles and fashions and goofing off together...

now im back at work...but hey, i not mad about it..gotta make money...pay the bills...life feels so awesome right now...all i can do is give thanks for all my blessings and keep on pushin...

Blessed...

blowin in the wind

been meaning to write for awhile...but my computer at home doesnt want to act right and then my work computer caught a cold...but im here...still chugging along...which is what has been on my mind...its almost november...i feel as if the world is moving aorund me andim stuck in slow-mo..i dont know why but its just feels as if time is whizzing by me...and feeling stuck...my routine...feels too routine..make any sense? i feel like life needs to be shakin up a little bit... and its funny i write this right after commenting on my girl's (she feel like my girl anyway) lol blog about God having a plan and guiding her life...she feels rushed at the moment, and for good reason, she has a lot going on in her life, lots of change...i feel like my life is just creeping along...and its not bad, i love my life, my family, my man, my dogs, my friends...i guess life just feels real regular...i do have things to look forward too..i guess im just ready for them to get here...im excited for homecoming this weekend...me and my girls just having a great time, going out, looking cute..seeing folks i havent seen in a few years...and my trip to vegas for our two year anniversary...im letting him plan everything, so im excited about what we are going to do...i know it will be fun, we always have a good time... hopefully ill be going home at the beginning of the year...its time he met mom and dad...lol..actually, its past time, huh? but i dunno...i dont feel bored really...i just dont feel inspired...or creative..i spend so much time working and paying bills...you know, real life stuff, i dont feel that creative energy that used to have me bouncing off the walls...and i miss it...i feel slightly off center...like im neglecting pieces of myself because i have to focus on the day to day things... im sure i will figure it out...time will tell..

focus on me

So..i saw this on Eb's blog..and i knew i had to do it...enjoy me!

I am not: transparent
I hear: my thoughts
I regret: not listening to myself when i was younger
I care: about my inner circle
I long to: make an impact
I feel alone: less and less
I hide: most of my thoughts
I drive: with lil wayne in my cd player
I sing: because im happy?
I dance: around my apartment
I write: because i know no other way
I breathe: because im blessed
I play: spades when i get the chance
I miss: hearing my daddy play the piano in the middle of the night
I search: then i stop myself and pray for guidance
I say: what i need to say, when i need to say it
I feel: loved
I succeed(ed): by growing
I fail(ed): when i stifle my dreams
I dream: of having it all
I sleep: peacefully
I wonder: whats next
I want: joy and wisdom
I worry: that i want too much
I have: to stay on the treadmill until homecoming
I give: all i can offer
I fight: to be understood
I am: my mother's daughter
I can’t: believe vitamin water has 125 calories
I stay: relaxed
I will: keep it pushin
I can: be too blunt
I would: like to travel all over the world
I might: try some more recipes i saw on the food network
I like: sitting in the jacuzzi with a glass of champagne
I love: the smell of his cologne
I smile: when my dog humps her stuffed bear
I frown: when im underestimated
I read: too much news
I work: to play

the randomness

i was having some random conversation the other week and i was asked whats my favorite food...i like so many things i couldnt even come up with anything at that moment...too bad starch isnt a food group...it hit me a few days later...

i LOVE potatoes...i can eat potatoes every day...i dont, but i could...french fried, baked, mashed, twice baked, chips, red, yellow, new, garlic...yeah, see where im going with this?

i love potatoes...give me a baked potato topped with veggies, cheese, butter and Lawry's and i good to go....of course i take all the health out of a potato when i put all that on it...so i dont let myself eat them like that as often as i really want to...

ok, so that was my ode to the potato...real random...i think im hungry actually...

its still in the low hundreds during the day out here, hot but not humid, so not too bad...at night its soo nice though...its perfect jacuzzi weather....its great to get off work and head for the jacuzzi with a nice glass of wine...the sky is pretty clear out here so sitting back and just looking in the sky and relaxing is soo...perfect...nights like that there are no worries, just good times...

im still trying to get my fitness on so i can look hot for homecoming...im doing OK, the knees are hurting a little from the high incline i set the treadmill on so i find myself taking more days off than id like...but i have to take care of my knees so that i can exercise properly without injuring myself...im still fly so if i dont make my goal ill be good...im a good size anyway...i really dont need to go down anymore sizes...so who knows...time will tell...

not much going on over here in the desert, just watching the foodnetwork and waiting for football season to be over...anything, new, interesting or exciting around your way?

Tagged!

I've been tagged by the miss Sevens!
Here are the rules to follow:

1.) When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back
2.) Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.
3.) Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘Honest Weblog’
4.) Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).
5.) And then we pass it on!


ALLLRIGGGHHHT here is go!

1. I am going to homecoming in atlanta at the end of the month and i have to look GOOD! i am pushing my workouts to 5-6 days out the week for 45 min to 1 1/2 hours...and i put myself on a stricter eating schedule...at least until i get to atlanta...then im hitting up every single one of my fav resturants with my girls...i havent seen my best friend in 3 years..thats crazy...so we are about to tear atlanta down...i have to buy some new boots, jeans, a dress and sweaters...i know this is going to be a good time...

2. i miss my family...as much as i love california i miss being able to go hang out with my mama (sitting on the couch, eating tuna helper and watching tyler perry plays, lol) whenever i feel like it...but i never want to live in michigan again...i just dont see it happening...

3. i like FIJI water just because the bottle is cute...the water taste like every other bottle water but those bottles arent as cute...i like to put my crystal light packets in my FIJI bottle...it looks so pretty...

4. be fearless

5. my swagger has been so off lately...i need to get back on it...i am slackin...im soo comfy in my relationship i dont do the things i used to do...you know, shave regularly, put on makeup, wear something other than a t-shirt, jeans and sandals...yes, he thinks im cute no matter what but i feel like i need to get back into going the extra mile for him...more than twice a month...so im working on that this month...i plan on throwing on some mascara or earrings or something everyday...jay-z, kanye, t.i. and lil wayne have inspired me with their song swagger..and ne-yo had inspired me with his song miss independent..im lovin the remix to that song by the way...i mean clearly ne-yo, jamie foxx and fa-bo-lo-us are talking about me in their song...so i gotta step it back up and embrace my inner diva...

6. i dont daydream like i used to..and i miss it...i used to zone out and have the best trips in my mind...i guess im letting everyday life cloud my creativity...thats not good...especially for an english major, lol...i miss reading i havent opened a new book in a while, too long..ive been doing way to many other things...and yet, i dont feel like i do much at all...i used to take pride in my book shelves and now i dont even have all my books out...a lot are chillin in a closet..but thats also because ive been too lazy to buy a new book shelf..the ones i do have are full..and i can probably fill up one more...

7. im blessed!


i tag:
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lola
lyre
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love, marriage and vegas...

hey beautiful people!
so here i am sitting at work snackin on some twizzlers....waiting for the night to end so i can wrap up and go home...i think CNN is on every tv right now...we are focused on the convention...im editing and designing the weeklies so i am knee deep in local/community news...tuesday's are probably my most relaxing days at work...my editor leaves at 8 p.m. so i am usually done by 8:15...but my shift is not up until 11...so i usually help other copy editors out and skim the news and gossip sites...

random: dont know why i like that t-pain and lil wayne song...i just do...plus i just love lil wayne's swagger...very sexy...

my sweetie and i are planning a trip to vegas to celebrate 2 years of putting up with each other...i mean two years of love and companionship...lol...im really excited...i live about 4 hours from vegas and have not taken time to go and visit..im not a gambler so i never really thought there would be anything for me to do in vegas...but he has been a few times with his boys...he has been researching hotels and want us to get spa treatments and im thinking he wasnt to go see a show...thought im not sure what...i wanna be surprised so im not asking...i told him since he was paying for all that id rent a nice car for the trip...

i told my co-worker that we were planning to go to vegas and he said "uh oh, yall gonna get married." ummm no...lol...i love the thought of marrying him..but it def wont happen that way... we talk about the future a lot...but we havent brought up marriage..and im cool with that..at a time when i have friends getting married and having babies i know we are not at the place just yet...i dont think about my biological clock or anything like the magazines say i should...i remember my best friends and i had it all planned at 22 that we would be married by 26 and pop out a kid by 30....well im 27 and in love...and thats just fine with me...would i love to be engaged? well the concept sounds real good, and im pretty sure a diamond would looke wonderful on my finger..if anything, its would be an excuse to get regular manicures...but a ring isnt that important at the moment...he is trying to start his career and im trying to figure out my next move...but long as we are both moving in the same direction i know that it will happen eventually...its all in God's hands, so if thats his plan, i wont argue, lol...

i think this is the first guy i ever really, truly thought about spending the rest of my life with...we just have so much fun..and half the time we are finishing each others thoughts and we both want the same things out of life...he compliments me and i do the same for him...we make each other better...its been almost two years and i can still talk about him all day and just thinking about him makes me smile...i look at him sometimes and think "damn he is gorgeous" lol...so i know this is some real love and im just enjoying it...i know i can tell him anything...ok, im done...lol...i told you i can talk about him all day....

so...who has been to vegas? where are some good places to eat, walk around, site see, etc? what are some good anniversary gifts for a guy? i have a couple ideas but could always use more...

my cup runneth over

so i was watching some movie over the weekend...jlo and richard gere...shall we dance? i think thats what its called..but anyway...i began thinking sometime during the movie how one desicion can change your life...one choice you make...even something as simple as whether to turn left or right can alter your future...i also started thinking about how some people live their lives as not to shake up their routine...gere took the same train home everyday and lived his life, harboring pieces of him that begged for more out of life, so that he would not potentially hurt his wife's feelings...he loved his wife and did not want her to feel as if she didnt make him happy enough...he wanted her to feel comforted in the knowledge that she was all he needed..but in reality he was holding himself back from himself...of course in the end it all comes together and they end up more in love than before....

that movie (as corny as it was) reminded me to keep living life, happily...to not put pieces of myself on the backburner for anyone and to take risks because i might find something new or i might have a powerful experience that will help me grow...and to trust in God's plan for my life...

"pieces of me shattered, jagged...broken...i picked my soul off the floor...piece by piece...slowly...carefully...scared to cut myself...with myself...i already had enough self-inflicted scars...i saw a part of myself...in each piece...a reflection of who...what...and where...i have been...i wanted to cry...but had no tears...i attempted to smile...but the life...wouldnt ...couldnt...reach my eyes...i was tired...of giving myself away...to the highest bidder...i no longer had the heart to keep reaching out...and grasping nothing...my shoulders were sore...from carrying everyones baggage...worried...needing to find me again...i cradled me in my hands...and closed my eyes...praying God would hear my voice...i remembered me...and i was whole again"

i found this e-mail i had sent to myself i guess more than a year ago...i send myself a lot of emails, just little phrases that float through my mind...i finally decided to clean out my inbox and this is what i found...and im actually amazed, im trying to figure out what was going on in my life at the time but its so far removed from where i am now that i cant even dwell on it too much...it makes me sad... anyway...i went home a couple weeks ago to visit the fam..ill write on that later..still trying to sort a few things out in my mind...plus i wanna post a couple pics so ill do that too...take care

27 and better than ever!

my bday was friday..i turned 27...and it was a cool birthday...not what i expected...not sure how i feel about that...but you gotta roll with the punches right? i was expecting a quiet birthday...just real chill...but of course when you have all your info on various networking sites...well, you dont get quiet...basically my coworkers threw a surprise bday party for me...well, it was supposed to be a surpsrise, i ended up finding out the day of when i came into work...but its the thought that counts...i work with some of the sweetest people...i had planned on going home after work and chillin...but ended up at the bar and then an afterparty at my place....i had 4 drinks..i felt so bad..i went and worked out the next morning...after popping some excedrin and getting a little grease in my system...my tummy was kinda queasy after the alcohol...

my girl maries hooked me up on sunday with brunch...she really did that damn things too..stuffed french toast, canadian bacon, sausage, eggs, fruit and mimosas! i ate to much...and to exercise that meal off too..lol...

funny, i was just reading earlier in the week about all the sugar in alcohol, lol...i know im a little crazy right now about counting calories and watching how much i eat...but im really beginning to be happy again with my body and im an extreme kinda person at times..im sure ill settle down in a while, once healthy eating and exercise really becomes a way of life for me...i had taken to wearing loose shirts cause i didnt want anyone to notice i had to unbutton my jeans halfway through my shift at work..and now...well those jeans are loose and i feel a lot more comfy wearing shirts that show my curves...im feeling like i felt in college...except a grown version...lol...i want to lose a little bit more then it will be all about toning and maintaining..i dont want to get skinny...i love my booty and my breats...i just want to be toned and curvy...im getting there...everyday it gets easier...

my ex called me over the weekend..i didnt even tell him it was my birthday weekend..i mean really, why? funny how i remember his...but back then i was all into him and he was into himself, so i dont expect him to remember something i told him back then, its not one of the things he remembers about me, HA!...yeah...but we had a good convo...i think we can truly be friends...and not just say it...there is no anger or sadness in my heart anymore thats long gone, i grew up, i healed and i found a wonderful love for myself and i found someone who loves me for me...but really as much angst as he put me through..if i unveiled all the extra shyt i was doing while dealing with him...i dont think he could handle it, even now...so i sit, lol..after our convo over the weekend we are cool...i think he understands where i am at in my life and i understand him...and those are the kind of convos i appreciate..i like to be understood...

on my way to work today one of my tires decided today was the day to get a hole...so ill be up early dealing with that...but thats just part of life, right?

i think the best thing about my birthday was that i got to talk to all my girls..i love them...they always bring laughter and good times...i am so thankful i have beautiful women in my life...emerson, i called you!!!

Happy Fourth!

i have been telling myself for the last couple weeks to get up on here and write something, lol...i have been slackin on my posting...

Happy Fourth of July!

I'm at work, missing my girl's party...she even told me she set up a slip and slide that goes right into the pool...not that i would get on it and slide into the pool, lol..i just got my hair done...

my boyfriend decided to get a puppy...meet marcus!



he is a 2 month old pit terrier...cute aint he!

see my man's hand...isnt it nice and strong looking, lol

clearly, im in a silly mood...but i suppose thats good...hardly anyone is at work today so we are chillin, just talking and having a good time while we work and collect our holiday pay...

working out had been going so well...i havent been to forever 21 in a long time...usually whenever i go in there i just get pissed because i can never fit anything...my "girls" cant breathe in those tiny shirts...i swear the tag on the clothing says large, i would go try it on and it would fit me like a small...well i went in there last weekend and saw a cute dress...i got brave and tried on a medium....IT FIT PERFECTLY!!! so now i have to go back and try on more stuff..it was so motivating...every time i dont want to work out i think about how i felt when i slid that dress down on me and it hugged all the right spots...and i get my butt on the treadmill...

now i have to find somewhere to wear the dress...im also on a misssion to find the perfect pair of jeans...and then buy 5 pair on them, lol

my bday is next week...im hoping the boyfriend took my victoria secret hints, lol...i keep getting on the web site and showing him stuff....

im getting ready to take a small vacation at the end of the month...im going home to see the fam...i havent seen my parents in almost a year and the last time i saw my big bro was in november when he came to visit..isnt that crazy? living so far away definitely has its downside...i talk to them about every other day so i dont feel as disconnected as i could..but i do miss them a lot...i need to make more money so i can go home more often...all i plan on doing when i get home is eating, shopping and hanging out with my fam...i will be metting my bro's new girlfriend...should be interesting...im pretty protective over him...my mom likes her so i hope i do...

i had a little incident when i was on the treadmill the other day....ill have to share that next time....

have a happy fourth...eat some bbq for me!