To be young, gifted and black...

and have to deal with pretencious ass white people....

im angry...and sad...and disappointed...and hurt...and i knew it was gonna happen sooner or later....

so i work at a newspaper...i am the ONLY black reporter...i am the ONLY black person that works at the newspaper....I am ONLY one of three black people who work in the COUNTY...

so i went to cover something for a co-reporter because there was some chaos going on in the office and she needed me to fill in for her...no problem, we fill in for each other all the time...

all i had to do was go and cover a performance of an african dance troop that came to one of the local elementary schools...i went, and i enjoyed it..they were very good...and i was suprised to find at least 4 dancers were white...that was intersting for me to see...white people in african garb dancing to african drums....but i digress...

i took my pics of the kids and the dnacers and the drummers...they turned out pretty nicely...i came back to the office..gave my camera to the woman who downloads and crops all the photos...

that was tuesday...so today the reporter i covered for gets a VERY sarcastic email from the woman who was responsbile for bringing the group her...a teacher at the school...the email said the woman was disappointed that no one from the paper showed up to cover the performance...so we show it to our mangaing editor and our pubisher and we all get a laugh out of it...

i said "i bet she thought i was with the dance troop"

and they laughed...i laughed too...but i was also serious....

my editor and publisher told my co-worker to write the lady back a email that was just as snotty as the one sent...so she writes back to the woman and CC'ed it to the principal lett her know that a reporter was there and did cover it and that the pics would be in the paper next week...u would think this little dilema would be over right?...

wrong...

i go to lunch...the popcorn shrimp at long john silvers it pretty damn good, i might add...when i get back from lunch the co-reporter is waiting with a reply email from the teacher...saying, again sarcasticly, well did the troop perform at another school because i did not see anyone from the reporter there and i think that this event which promotes diversity should be covered, that is why we have such a racist reputation now and things of this nature need to be covered (im putting this in my own words)....

now...a bunch of WHITE people watching a mojority black dance troop dance and sing for them...to me does not promote diversity...

so my co-reporter once again tells the lady that shauna (last name) from the newspaper covered the event and the pictures will be in the paper....

NOW they r beginning to see that...WOW..the lady sis think i was with the dance troop...

this womans problem (if i may say so) is that she is ASSUMING that because she did not see anyone white taking pics no one from the reporter showed up to the performenace...and it is HER attitude and assumptions that keeps this town wrapped in a racist shell of a reputation...

she brought this african dance troop to the school as a way to clear her own conscience and make herself believe that she is not racist...or that she embraces diversity...well if she can embrace it...why cant the paper..who have already proven they have by hiring me....

only she knows her true feelings...and maybe she doesnt...but from where i sit and from what i see..this woman is part of what is wrong with the world...sometimes its the little things...because a lot of little things create the big things...

i dont know...i have never experienced anything like this...its while it seems so small to some it is very big to me...i think it is disgusting...and i want to march over to that school and introduce myself to that woman and hand her my card...i just want to see her face when i tell her that little 4'11, 36-28-36, chocolate me, took those pics..and yall, she is teaching the children!...racist attittudes do not have to be verbal...

but im going to chill...well kinda...i plan on handing that woman her paper next week..and letting her know that i enjoyed the performance and was glad i could take the pictures...i am then going to give her my card...and im going to walk away...well, after snapping a pic of her jaw on the ground...

just looking her in the eyes and letting her know that i know her issue is satisfaction enough for me...

i guess this is what happenes when u r one of the first...

and its funny because i just did an interview for a local acess televsion program...a sorta documentary on black people who work in the town i work in and their experiences...and i said in that interview...which happened to be the same day i took those pictures..that i have had good experieinces working here and that people shouldnt assume the worst about the town...and i dont bite my words cause i have had a lovely experience here...i guess i just find it ironic...

im glad that is all that has happened here...if u google Carol Jenkins...well she wasnt as lucky with her experince here...it was the 60's...but that wasnt that long ago...

ill edit this when i get home...i just needed to clear my head...