thanks Oprah...i needed that...

i wrote this a few weeks ago but was hesitant to post it, im not totally sure why but hey now is the time...after i wrote it i e-mailed it to my best friend 'drea -i like to run things by her especially about career because we talk about that a lot and i like to let her in on any new thoughts - this is what she wrote back:

"ohmigosh girl, i totally feel the same way. it's like we get out of college and then bam, reality sets it....well imma listen 2 what oprah is saying cause she must know what she's talking about...
well i hope that we will eventually end up in a place where we are happy about our professional and social life..."

i like oprah, i mean i think she is a great role
model...ive never been on the oprah bandwagon but i do
really think she says some profound things at
times...i was watching "oprah after the show" this
weekend and she was answering questions from the
audience and someone asked her something about advice
she would give someone who is in their 20's...and u
know i really liked her answers, she said quite a
bit....what i really took away from her monologue was what she said about
career...basically she said folks in their 20's a lot of
times think they r going to come right out of school
and land their dream job and a lot of times that is
not the case...she said dont be afraid to take the job
that will help you pay your bills..use this time in
your life to find your passion to explore many job
opportunites and learn about yourself and life...

and i really took that because i thought i would land
the job i dreamed about and that would be it...but as
i look back, in college, all i could see was me wearing
great suits, 'doing lunch' with my girls and living in
a great apartment, going to glamourus parties and
vacations and dating handsome men until i found the
one i would eventually settle down and raise a
family with...a was in a dream world....

because graduation hit and i had no job prospects and
ended up going back home to live with my parents...and
u know i thought i had failed, finally i got a
fellowship which got me out of my parents house and i
thought this would set me on my way to the glamourous
life i dreamed of...nope..two years later im still
trying to break through...and sometimes that feeling
of failure appears and clouds my thinking....

but i really needed that little bit of wisdom from
oprah that day...it made me really think...im only 24,
im still very young in the game of life...this is the
time to discover me, i dont need to worry about this
dream job i just need to keep gaining experience and
before i know it that dream job will find me...i dont
need the perfect job, to fit this perfect mold i made
up in my head a long time ago that said this is what i
need to succeed...i have time to explore and find all
the things im passionate about...this is the time, i
shouldnt dwell on what i cant control...

so im not making much money now, thats okay, im
living, all my NEEDS are taken care of...and alot of
my WANTS are being furnished too..this is the time to
step out and take risks and find my way...

thing is..i knew this...i knew this a long time
ago...but i let the idea of perfection and the belief
that i have failed because im not up to par with
someone elses idea of sucess to cloud my brain...i
still have time to find my way and great things are
out there for me, i just need to step out of the box i
put myself in and reach out for them....

so at this moment in life i WANT to be back in atlanta
so i need to work towrd that goal...but i also need to
keep my eyes open for other opportunities because
atlanta might not be what i need right now...God has a
plan for me...i STRONGLY believe that...i also believe
He will guide me in the right direction and open my
eyes to what i need to do when the time is right....

so im not going to let this job search eat me up...i
mean the Indy Star called me last week...and although
im not serious about working there that might be one
of the experiences that i need to find my passion and
reach my dream so i wont rule anything out...im going
to apply to every place that catches my eye...

i noticed that God has a way of opening things up to
me...He always has...opportunites have felt like they
dropped into my lap in the past because i was patient
and because they were right...i figure if i have to
force something to work in my life then its not
supposed to be...i shouldnt have to force something to
be right...but when i chill and i do my thing usually
the opportunity appears....

so im going to chill..im going to do my part but im
not going to worry...

its so funny a little bit of oprah did inspire me and
make me think..and im ready...im finally ready to
except whats next...sometimes u just have to let go of
things and just listen...so in time i will have a new
job and a new experience to go with that job..and that
experience will guide me towards my passion in life
and then i will have my glamours job, my glamours
life..which might not be what i dreamed about before
but will be what is right for me...


*since i have written this i received a call from a paper in california, the editor told me he had heard some good things about me, and asked if i had ever considered moving to cali...he said he wants me to officially apply - which i did...hopefully ill hear from him again soon...and if not, thats cool, ill keep applying to other places...*