Adina!!!

Music Video Codes By Musicjesus.com


i posted this on my myspace page...so now i am posting it here....i used to love this song...i love the video too...i think her eye makeup could be toned down a little bit but other than that i am diggin it....

im was wondering if i wanna be more like janet jackson or adina when i grow up...and while i do like adina...janet won that mental toss up...i just love janet...so with that decision out of the way i can now concentrate on other things like work and bills and all that...

my week is shaping up to be slightly busy...my writing group is meeting at my house for lunch on wednesday, and i havent written anything new...and i told them i would make lunch...i am trying to figure out a nice healthy menu...i have to clean up my apartment too..the last few days i let it go..and it looks a mess...i did finally decide on how i want to decorate my bathroom...but, i decided id wait until my next paycheck instead of charging it up on my visa....
anyway, i have online training at work and a new employee meeting...fun...right...

no fitness update today...except just to say ive been eating more fruits and veggies...and not so much bread...and i LOVE bread...

oh, and as you can see i changed my template....and all my blog links got erased...gimme a min to get them back up...

FITNESS UPDATE

IM FAILING MISERABLY!!!!

ok, so i did some tae bo this week...and it kicked my ass...

and so i sat my ass down....and just watched billy an 'nem jump around for a little while...

and although i think i did very well on the diet side of things....cept for a couple starbucks trips i didnt need to make...but i did get my moachas non fat w/ lite whip...

i had salads for lunch...i ate too much bread....but my issue is that i think i had a glass or two of wine almost every night after work...i cant help...so im chillin on that...slowing down...i dont need that...the other day at work i was so dehydrated i was light headed and nautious, too much caffine not enough water...i think its because i got out after work or over someone place almost every night and we always open up a bottle of wine and have some food...

thats another thing..i need to stop eating so late...i work 3:30 to midnight, wed-sun...and i just dont know how to make time for dinner...im on deadline til 10:30 so i cant leave the newsroom cause i am busy editing...i know from my blog u cant tell im an editor but this is my outlet, i dont need to be Ms. AP style on here...anyway...here is my routine..i need advice on how to get in a groove of not eating so late in the evening...

i wake up around 11 a.m. i chill around the house, try and exercise or go run errands, around 2:30 p.m. i eat breakfast/lunch...then i go to work...at work i drink tea, or water, on occasion i have a coke...if someone decided to make a run i will have fish tacos or pizza around 8 p.m....if no one makes a run i dont eat until i get off at midnight...sometimes i go straight to the bar and have a smirnoff ice and then some water, so i dont eat...depending on how the night goes i get in bed between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m.

(on those real late nights, we meet up and talk at someones house...those are very creative nights...the last one consisted of wine, brie, crackers, dancing, poetry, politics...and well i didnt get home til 7:30 the next morning)

i cant figure out a way to cook myself dinner because im always doing something even when im around the house, im paying bills, or getting dressed, or cleaning up...any suggestions?

i need a routine i can stick to thats healthier...

im going to try and use my time more wisely...ive been staying away from the bar...its bad when the bartender knows me, the patrons know me, my co workers just expect me to be there...and im tired...im not a drinker...and i dont want to become one...

ive been going over my girls house and hanging out, we cook on tuesdays and invite everyone over to eat...and i have my writing group, i still need to write my story...im trying to stay active outside of the bar scene...

anyway..thats been this weeks fitness update...i swear im doing tae bo tomorrow, i like that way it makes me feels when i go at it hard and get sweaty...(shaadup u nasty folks)....derek is being a very good motivator...he is staying on me - almost daily about exercising...he is running everyday and lifting so i know i can do something...

okay ladies, how are you guys doing?

more products!!!!

this is a great exfoliating mask...the woman told me that oprah loves it (she would say oprah right??)...she was a great sales woman cause i bought the sucker...



i also wanted something for my body since its about to be summer time and i wanna have some nice soft skin, just in case i find someone to rub up on me...this stuff is really nice...my whole body is nice and soft...which is needed after a good sweaty workout...






and of course you HAVE to moisturize after exfoliating...this stuff smells so good and has shea butter, cocoa butter and some other butters in it...and it smells good..


okay i spent this whole week pampering myself, in other words, i got paid this week!

i went and got a mani/pedi, and a bikini wax, i ate crazy amount of sushi and bought a good 4 bottles of wine! aveda is a little pricier than i usually go for but that why i call it splurging...and after buying those body products i decided to make an appointment for the bikini wax i have been dreading for months...i finally talked myself into it...with the help of anetra trying to convince me that its not that bad...ummm, yes it is that bad...

one my way to grab the last two bottle of wine that i purchased i came across an aveda salon, and since i had nothing better to do and money burning a hole in my purse i decided to go in...

the woman was like "women usually have a glass of wine or a couple asprin before they get the wax done"...i had none of that...she also told me i did good for my first time, one client kicked her in the face...it was kinda weird having a chick all in my area who is not a doctor...i got self conscious, like i hope i look alright down there, i hope my nani impresses her, crazy right?...but that was before she slathered me up and pulled all my precious hairs out...after i finally unclenched my fists i started rubbing around my "womanhood" like dang im soft, damn near turned myself on...but thats another story for another day....

crazy thing is, i plan on getting it done again next payday...

a few years ago...

today before work i decided my mission was going to be to get my college papers off of my old computer and put them on this jump drive i just bought and transfer them to my laptop...i decided...after many convos with myself and some others not to stop writing...and i felt that maybe if i looked back at some old stuff of mine i would feel motivated to jump back in and get creative...not sure if it will work yet...but its worth a shot...i wrote something last night while i was at work...it really rough but at least it was something...
so after a few issues i finally got my papers...i ended up emailing them to myself too (that took a LONG minute)so i can have some back up copies...plus my laptop is fighting with my jump drive and cant find the driver i installed from the company web site..i need to upgrade my operating system so i wont have these problems again...actually a whole new laptop would be nice...if i can manage to save $1500 i will get the MAC ive been drooling over...but anyway..i decided to post some of my old poems...just cause i can....

Because…

I love you because…
You journeyed into my life and held my intellect hostage,
And filled my reality with an image of a beautiful black man.
I love you because…
You uncovered insecurities that laid locked in my core,
And inspired me to massage my fears.
I love you because…
You desired me,
And allowed me to desire you without injuring my feminity.
I love you because…
You held my hand
And you allowed me to hold your heart
I love you because…
You left me,
Left me to see
That my life could go on without you
And had been more fulfilled because of the time you spent in it.

(too bad this is not actually about anyone...it was a poetry assignment)

-------

A Conversation

They laid locked in my heart
And now they are spilling out for the world to grasp
My feelings, worries, and wonders
From a solemn place in my soul
Forced out of my lips
And now penetrating your ears
Connecting with your thoughts
Thoughts like my own
As we sit at this table of familiarity
Together

(i wrote this after a starbucks study session with my best friend andrea...i remember we had a great conversation that day)

-------

I HATE YOU, But…

You monopolize my time without apology
You force-feed me your truths
And lecture me about your broken promises
I HATE YOU!
But DAMN, you love me s-o-o-o good!
When you stare deep in my eyes
And our fingers intertwine
Then you hum on my pleasure palace
And penetrate my spine
I HATE YOU!
You consider my feelings emotional nonsense
And constantly insult my intellect
You neglect a reality that includes me
I HATE YOU!
But DAMN, you love me s-o-o-o good!
When you caress my thighs
And make my hips rise
And you turn me on my back
Then you take me from behind
I HATE YOU!
But DAMN….
You love me s-o-o-o good!

(this was about sean - the brooding, green eyed creole, musician, asshole i was infatuated with for quite a while...i wanted to stop dealing with him, but everytime i said i would stay away from him, he would put it on me and and i'd give in..it was a very weird time for me because i liked him, or better yet i liked who i saw he could be)

-------

1st Date

Don’t get it twisted
I don’t want to be your girl
Definitely not your woman
You think I gave you some (operative word, gave)
On the first date because I was into you
Hell naw, I was just curious if you could hang
And now I feel bad because you couldn’t
And I wasted my time
I’m the ho, nope, get it right,
You hoed yourself by thinking
I was trying to make you my man
You keep calling me,
Why?!
Have I called you back yet? No!
A second date?!
Well, at least you know how to pick a restaurant
Damn baby, why are you so upset
At least I let you bust
I didn’t even get that
Oh, all the moaning, I was stifling my laughter
So now you are walking around
Pleased that you got some ass
But when are you going to learn
That you shouldn’t hit it on the first date
It destroys your credibility
And gets you no respect!

(this was actually an assignment for my poetry class, it was kind of like a "lemme tell you about yourself" poem...i had been noticing the dynamics of male/female relaitonships and wanted to twist it a little bit)

-------

Spelman that Morning (9/11)

My isolation has gone undetected by everyone else
Only I notice that I am not crying or hugging someone who is
If this series of moments is supposed to effect me
I wish someone would tell me how
I think I should be crying or hugging someone who is
Maybe it is my sensitivity that makes me feel so insensitive
I feel defeated by my campaign to find someone who needs me
I look into the faces of my mourning sisters
I really want to be crying or hugging someone who is
But instead I go to my room and sleep

(the day of 9/11 classes were immediately cancelled around the AUC. i was walking back to my dorm room and just noticed all the crying and hugging. so many people affected by the terrorist attacks. and i felt isolated, i wasnt near my friends, i had no one to reach out to. i felt numb, like i need to be crying because everyone else was, but i didnt and i felt ashamed that i was not emotional too.)

okay thats enough...i actually ran across a few i wrote in high school too...i have grown since then, creatively and mentally, but its good to just look back sometimes...

sumthin new and a fitness update

im getting my first bikini wax tomorrow!!!!!

oh...and then fitness thing is going just okay....not so good this week...but i am trying...but this belly ring isnt totally healed so crunches are out for the moment...im going to try my taebo tape out again tomorrow...i am not feeling the work out facility at my apartment, i do like the new weight machine in there though...and weight training is said to eccelerate the burning of body fat...i have always liked my taebo tape so i will work out to billy blanks in the morning and just try not to look at his face...low blow i know...
i went and bought some fruit today for my break at work...so at least im getting in some more fruit..im going to keep doing that...thats all for this week..this is a slow start but i am hoping i will be successful....sev, godbabymama how yall doin?

Fitness Challenge Spring 2006

my girl and i are doing this fitness challenge based off my blog from last week, the one claming how i wanted to lose weight but im lazy and lack motivation...*scroll down* i dont feel like linking...see just plain laziness...

so we are kicking this thing off on monday...anyone who wants to join please feel free to do so...every week we will post how we are doing...and try and give some encouragement to others who are trying to "GET FINE FOR THE SUMMA TYME"...

and im sure we will also need the encouragement too...

Sev is issuing an order of 15-30 min of cardio a day (bare minimum) and 100 crunches to tone up those abs...

but of course you can have the prettiest abs in the world but without the cardio you will never see them....so hit the cardio and weight train...

and eat healthy...my biggest problem is getting enough green veggies and fresh fruits...so imma work on that, in fact i had the juiciest pear a little while ago...so i guess thats a start...

its an open forum...feel free to comment on your issues and sucesss along with me and sevens...

but uh before monday ill be hitting cold stone creamery for one last waffle cone...

living in the moment

sooo...
im at the local bar on monday, my day off, with about 8 of my co workers...
now i had told myself that i was going to stay home and eat cookie dough (made from scratch, thank you very much!) while watching whatever i had recorded during the week on my dvr...in fact i had been such a homebody monday that i only left the house once to go to el pollo loca and get a chicken burrito...
so my co workers calls and tells me they r going to get together and watch the game at this other hangout and i was like cool but im chillin inside today...then my wother co worker calls and is tells me the same thing, and i say naw im cool...then around 9:30 - i remember the time cause half and half was coming on - my co worker calls again and says they are all meeting up at the bar...finally i say ok, let me take a shower and i might be out there....so i guess i get there around 10:30 ish..on the way i call a few of the girls and let them know and so they said they will meet me over there...
ok so we are all hanging out, im not really drinking too much, i had a smirnoff ice and spent my time chatting up with everyone...so one co worker is talkin to this guy that i had seen there a few times, he was cute, nothing spectacular but he was aiight..anyway...
they tell me he own a shop a few doors down and does piercings...so we talk about piercings for awhile...somehow i ended up showing him my belly button..he mentions that i have a nice belly button...next thing i know i say lets go, grab my keys and my phone and four of us are headed off to the shop...minutes later i have a big needle in my belly and a few seconds and moments of eye closing pain later, i have the cutest ring in my belly...
he tells me how to care for it, we hug, we all leave the shop...did i mention it was like 2 in the morning when this went down?
i try and slide 40 bucks in dudes hand - cause i dont want him to think imma repay him any other kind of way...but he refuses to take it...thats cool, cause it was my lunch money for the week anyway...
i never thought id end up getting that done...but its cool, i like it...i felt so carefree and adventurous...my friends say im always doing something spontaneous, but i didnt really believe it til now...i like that about myself..its like i live in the moment...
i cant sleep on my tummy for awhile...but maybe this is what i needed to kick start this exercise thing...i am going to want to show off my belly ring whenever i hit the beach...now maybe ill buckle down...i mean i will buckle down...after i finish the cookie dough i made...cause i cant throw it away....

gawgeous!

-getty images

i did it....did you?

i was really trying to resist....i told myself i wasnt going to do it...i thought i did good, i held out for quite awhile....but i got sucked in...

www.myspace.com/spelangel


yeah...no willpower...who has a page?

beautiful...

Music Video Codes By MusicJesus.com

motivation

ive done everything short of just getting up and getting my butt on a treadmill, or doing a single crunch or push up...

i really want to work out...i do!

i went out an bought new sports bras (red, oooh weee!), i buy almost every issue of shape and fitness magazines off the stands in the store, i paid the deposit and got my gym key for my apartment complex, i am a poster child for fiber and regularity - just ask anyone who talks to me on a regular basis (i keep 3 days worth of metamucil caplets in my purse along with multivitamins, extra vitamin C, iron pills, flax oil and folic acid)...

i glance at at least 3 or 4 heath and fitness sites everyday while im at work...

you do not want to go grocery shopping with me, i check labels and compare the amount of sodium in tv dinners before deciding on what to buy...i check to see if the salmon is farm raised, fresh-caught pacific or atlantic (yes, there is a difference)...i buy bran flakes and check for grams of sugar in fruit juices...i started buying naked brand pomagrant fruit juices because of the high antioxidant content...and odwalla smoothes for the soluable fiber content...i go up and down every aisle in the grocery store twice before i leave...

i have a friend who calls me at least every other day aroud 10 a.m. not really to motivate me to go exercise but just motivate me to move in general...and i always get off the phone, roll over and get a couple more hours of sleep...

i do all of this but i have not made it to the gym...im frustrating myself...i always find an excuse to sit around, or sleep...

and now is the time i really need to be exercising...i go out with co-workers at least 4 days a week to the bar...and while i dont always have a drink i am def consuming more alcohol than i have in a good while and by staying out late i am throwing my sleep pattern off...there are quiet a few calories in alcohol...i had my first beer last week - a corona w/ lime - and immediately thought "oh God im going to get a beer belly!"

i need some motivation...i need someone to work out with me...i just feel unhealthy because im not moving, i swear i can feel myself growing...i need to check myself...

i have a friend that told me he is exercising, i was like no dont lose any weight...i just dont want him to get close to my size...i told another guy friend to eat more after i learned how much he weighed cause he is too close to me in the weight arena, and i didnt see myself losing any...

those gym folks out there, how do you motivate yourself and stay motivated and dedicated to the gym? i just cant seem to make it..but i really want to...