Habits...

...but you say im foolish...of course you love me...but being loved of course
is not the same as being loved because...or being loved despite...or being loved
if you love me why...do i feel so lonely...and why do i always wake up alone
and why am i practicing not having you to love...i never loved you that way
if being loved by you is accepting always...getting the worst...taking the least
hearing the excuse...and never being called when you say you will
then it's a habit...like smoking cigarettes...or brushing my teeth when i awake
something i do without thinking...but something without ...which i could just as well do....
-taken from the poem Habits by Nikki Giovanni

i am sending this one out to C.A.W. because sometimes i just dont know about you, us, we....and sometimes id rather not think about you, us, or we...because sometimes it just too sad.....and i am trying to hard to be happy.....but sometimes, late at night while i lie in bed at night.....i remember..you, us, we.....