Pieces of a Colored Girl...

For Colored Girls who have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enough by Ntozake Shange......leaves me speechless everytime i read it...wheneveri am feeling sad or depressed or need to rhow a pity party, or am feeling good or want some sort of affirmation i read this book along with a couple others: When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost by Joan Morgan and any book or poetry or essays by Nikki Giovanni, just recently i have added In Search of My Mother's Garden by Alice Walker....these books just make me so proud to be a black woman, they inspire me and they console me...and one day i hope to be able to write words for others that touch them sooo deeply, like these women touch me.....but back to For Colored Girls...i decided to write out pieces of the choreopoem, the parts that really speak to me and i thought id share them...because like Erykah Badu said..."since knowledge is infinite, it has infinitely fell on me..."


"...somebody/anybody/sing a black gils song/bring her out/to know herself/to know you/but sing her rhythms/carin/struggle/hard times/sing her song of life/she's been dead so long/closed in silence so long/she doesnt know the sound/of her own voice/her infinite beauty/she's half notes scattered/without rhythm/no tune/sing her sighs/sing the song of her possibilities/sing a righteous gospel/let her be born/let her be born/and handled warmly."

"...but you are of no assistance/i want you to know/this waz an experiment/to see how selfish i cd be/if i wd really carry on to snare a a possible lover/if i waz capable of debasin my self for the love of another/if i cd stand not being wanted/when i wanted to be wanted/& i cannot/
so/with no further assistance & no guidance from you/i am endin this affair/this not is attached to a plant/i've been waterin since the day i met you/you may water it/ya damn self"

"...she waz hot/a deliberate coquette/who never did without/what she wanted/& she wanted to be unforgettable/she wanted to be a memory/a wound to every man/arragant enough to want her...& when she finished writin/the account of her exploits in a diary/embroidered with lillies & moonstones/she placed the rose behind her ear/& cried herself to sleep."

"...so this is a requium for myself/cuz i have died in a real way/not wid aqua coffins & du-wop cadillacs/i used to joke abt when i waz messi round/but a real dead lovin is here for you now/cuz i dont know anymore/how to avoid my own face wet with tars/cuz i had convinced myself colored girls had no right to sorrow/& i lived & loved that way &kept sorrow on the curb/allegedly for you/but i know i did it for myself/i cdnt stand it/ i cdnt stand bein sorry & colored at the same time/ it's so redundant in the modern world."

"...and you YOU/came sayin im the niggah/i am the baddest muthafuckah out there/ and i said yes/this is who i am waitin for/& to come with you/ i hadta bring everthin/the dance & the terror/the dead musicians & the hope/& those scars i had hidden wit smiles and good fuckin lay open/& i dont know i dont know anymore tricks/ i am really colored & really sad sometimes & you hurt me/more than i ever dance outta/into oblivion isnt far enuf to get outta this..."

okay, i cannot give away alla this book, i performed the play when i was in college so i think i have momorized the whole thing....its just an unbelieveable collective story of the experiences of black women good and bad, a journey.....


ill leave you with one more.....

"i found god in myself/& i loved her/ i loved her fiercely."